MONSTA X #1: Deleted Mémoire

13. Lost Memories

ERRORS AHEAD

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"Where are we going?" I asked when I get in the car. 

Just confront him. Ask what happen in the past,  and if what he'll say is the opposite of what you remembered.

I look at him who is smiling, smiling like how he use to. His honey-like smile that can melt every heart of those  living things in this world. I want to ask him what happened in the past, I want to ask why I was in the club and had the accident. Was it connected to what I've remembered? 

Break up with him.

What exactly happened? I want to know. I want to know every detail, even the smallest detail. But I can't ask him because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that all I feel was all right. And that this is just a beautiful lie.

"We're going to the dorm." He said as he revved the car. 

Matda. We're going to their dorm to celebrate their first win. It took them two years to win the award and I am so proud of them. They deserve it.

They work so hard for their fans, for themselves and I am so proud of them. I am really proud of them. They deserve all the awards in every music shows and every awardings.

The Blood, Sweat and Tears has been payed off with just one award.

This is one of the reason why I can't ask him. The timing is bad, they won and I shouldn't taint his mood or else the two of us will lead into fight. But I thought that, what if this the perfect timing? He's so happy today and if I ask him about us in the past, he'll tell everything.

Or not.

I thought of asking TaeIl too, but KiHyun doesn't like it if I talk to him. His just jealous little bean. Cute isn't it?

I open my bag and fished my specs inside. I have a bad eye sight so sometimes I wear specs. My mom said maybe it's because of the accident I had coz my eye sight in the past are okay.

I was shy when I first wear this and KiHyun saw it so he bought a specs for him too so we have a couple specs. He's the sweetest.

Who wouldn't love MONSTA X? I just can't understand all of their haters. They can all say bad things in MX. Can't they see that artist are humans too? They have flaws, they're not perfect. I just hope the haters will start learning about respect.

And just mind their own business and stop hurting artist. I'm not saying this just for MX, I'm saying this for all the artist aroubd the world, they did nothing wrong. What they do was to strive hard and be the person of what they are right now. But the thing is,  they get judge just because they're already successful. Netizens love to dig artists dirt to make them fall down.

That is the reason why I don't wanna get out of the house with a bare face. Because people will always judge you even you're at your best.

"We're here." KiHyun said that made me woke up from my reverie. I glanced around and sigh before unbuckling the seatbelt. I open the car door and hopped off. I sigh when I thought of that thing again. What the hell is happening to me? 

"What's the problem?" KiHyun asked worriedly when both of us are on the lift. I glance at him and sighed before looking at the reflection of ourselves on the lift.

"I dreamed of something." I said as I look up to look at his beautiful eyes. His brows furrowed. "What---."

"I was crying in the van with TaeIl oppa, he was comforting me. Saying I shouldn't have attemp to kill myself." I said as I close my eyes and bowed down.

That's why I wanted to talk with TaeIl oppa, because he's the only person who can answer me about this. That dream feels like real, like as if I rrally attempted to die. But why did I do that if it really happened? Why did I attempt to kill myself? Was the accident---no. But what if the accident is not really accident?  What if I did it because I really wanted to die?

When me and Migs met, a memory resurfaced too.

I was on top of the building, at the rooftop. I was crying my eyes out as I was staring at the beautiful scenery of Seoul. It was night. I was at the edge of the building and I was about to jump when TaeIl oppa came in and rush towards ne to save me.

TaeIl oppa is the only one who can help me. The only one who can answer all of the questions running inside my head.

"You wanna talk with him?" He asked. I look at him as I nodded my head. He sigh and nodded.

"Arasseo."

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A bit short than the usual. :) Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoy writing this. I already have the end of this and just a few chapter I will end this, let's see if it's tragic or not. ^_• But let me tell you something, I don't believe in forever.

Anyway, I'll end this soon because of WonHo. He's fucking my mind lately and it's making me crazy ><.