MONSTA X #1: Deleted Mémoire

19. Is It Too Late?

Errors Ahead

Note: The Italic are flashbacks or her thoughts.
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"Yah." I called through the phone. My hands are holding it tightly because of the rage I'm feeling. I told her to keep it a secret but she broke her promise.

Promises are really meant to be broken huh?

"Hey, 'zup?" She asked coolly as if it really makes her cool.

"You told it to KiHyun didn't you?" I asked. I bit my bottom lip when she chuckle. This girl really.

I knew it. I shouldn't have trusted her. She's a friend of HwaSoo, and I should know what her friends are.

"You know I'm an honest person." She said. I rolled my eyes.

"Tsk. Honest your ass." I said through gritted teeth.

"Uh-uh. Watch your mouth sweetheart." She said in her sweet voice. I hung up the phone and lazily look at the ceiling. I'm already at my room and the two guys are at the other room.

They will sleep here since it's already late. I'm worried if they have schedules tomorrow. Those boys really.

Matda. I called YoonSeo to ask if KiHyun have schedules tomorrow. Why did I forgot it? Ugh.

"Please forgive me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it, I didn't mean to hurt you. Hyoki, babe."

I close my eyes when I heard his voice on the back of my head. Begging me my forgiveness. I hate seeing him cry, I hate everything, everyone that hates him.

I...

Even hate myself. For hurting him like that, for being selfish when I ran away. I didn't think of what he will feel when I left. I didn't think I will hurt him in that way.

That's how much I love him.

I can hate myself just for him.

"I already forgave you KiHyun. It's not your fault, it's mine." Because I trusted you.

"No. It's my fault. It's all my fault. This whole damn thing is all my fault."

A tear escaped my eyes even though it's close. I breath sharply and open my eyes. I can't sleep knowing he's just there. But I know I need to, so I reach for the pillow on the side and hugged it.

I cleared my mind and go back to sleep.

One hour.

Two hours.

Three hours have passed but I'm still wide awake. I stood up and decided to go to the kitchen and grab a milk.

I saw TaeIl opening the refrigerator and looking for something. "Can't sleep?" I asked. He look up at me and smiled when he spotted me.

"Yea. Can't sleep. Neodo?" (You too?) I nodded my heas and grab the milk inside the ref. TaeIl oppa prepared glasses, I pour the milk to the glass and close it when I fill the glasses. I then put it back to the ref and grab my glass to drink.

"I'm sorry." I look at him when he blurted that. There's really nothing to be sorry about, but why is he saying sorry?

"I'm sorry I bring him here." I forced a smile at him and shook my head.

"No. It's nothing."

"Ani. You're hurting and it is not nothing. I'm the only who you can trust but I broke it. I'm really sorry." I inhaled sharply as I bit my bottom lip to prevent myself from crying.

"It's okay Oppa. I already forgive you." He look at me as he frown.

"Why are you like this?" He asked. "You forgive people like they didn't do anything wrong." He added. I chuxkled.

"What do you want me to do then? Hate the people who hurt me? I'm too tired of hating people oppa. I just want to live my life now, without hatred, for me," I smiled and caress my tummy. "And for my baby."

He smiled and ruffled my hair. "Now I can already say, you're a grown up woman." I slap his arm away as I glare at him.

"So what do you think of me in the past? An immature woman? Imma!" I said in sarcasm. He chuckled and pointed at my tummy.

"Your baby can hear you." I glared at him onve again and then I chuckle because of his silliness. This oppa is really my knight in shining armour, he was there when I needed him the most.

"Baby?" Chuckles have faded away when the honey like voice was heard in the kitchen. Both of us look at KiHyun who is standing in the door frame, shock was written on his face.

He bit his lower lip, looking at me then to TaeIl. "What baby HyoKi?" He asked.

I look at TaeIl to ask some help but he motion me to tell KiHyun already. "I.. need to go." TaeIl oppa excused and rushed towards their room.

I look at KiHyun when only me and him was left.

"Am I too late now?" He asked, frowning. I just stared at him, he walks towards me and stop when he's already in front.

"Tell me HyoKi, am I too late?" He asked once again. I dont know what to say. He's not late, and even when he's late I can always wait for him. That's how much I love him. I can even wait for 30 years for us to get married.

"HyoKi. Please answer." I look at him in the eyes as I gently shook my head. Relieved was written on his face but when he lookes at my tummy. His face hardened.

"Who's that baby." I glared at him. What does he think of me? A bitch who fucks every guys who have interest in me. Damn. I should have known that he's like this. I shouldn't have love him. Damn.

"Is it TaeIl's?" He asked throuh gritted teeth. "Does he fuck you better than me?"

"Why are you quiet babe? Tell me the truth. Is he better than me?" I gritted my teeth and slap him hard.

"You want the truth?" I asked. "He's way too better that you can't be the best!" I answered and strutted to my room, slamming the door close.