My drawings 3

~187~

I know you guys think I'm this perfect person, or a nice person, I mean I can when I want to be but....

I'm not that nice of a person.

Especially to guys.

I don't know why, but... I'm always really mean (jokingly but still) around guys?

Like... I like them as friends but I still act like an ass.

That's mainly why Wayne left me as a friend.

And I get it.

I wish he had said something though.

It's not like he was nice back.

We both always joked with each other like that.

I need to move on. From all of them. But I can't. Plus... they were cool with me. And accepted me. Even with my anxiety they understood.

It makes me feel scared.

I miss the way it used to be.

I shouldn't dwell on the past. But...

I mean I know I have people who care. I just..... sometimes I can't believe how easy I can just be.... given up, replaced, forgotten.

I'm tired of it.

At least Justine left with respect. We still talk. If I see her at school we say hi. I'd still hang out with her if I saw her.

She just left because she wanted to move on. She didn't cause drama that wasn't needed.

And I respect that. I wish they could have gone like that.

He didn't even care to ask if I wanted to sit with them after I said I had no place to go.

He doesn't care and probably didn't.

He lied so much.

It's like everyone just... lies to me. Every word they say.

It's all lies.

And people wonder why I don't trust anyone or talk about my feelings.

Because I'm scared that when I tell them how I feel or if I trust them.... it will turn out EXACTLY like this did.