The One That Understands Me | A Zanvis FF [COMPLETE]

Chapter XXXX - Netflix

~Travis's PoV~

I lay in bed, tired but for no good reason. I haven't even done anything today. All I did was just scroll through my social media apps, in my bed, bored out of my mind. I was still grumpy, and all of it was starting to morph into anger and slight sadness. My legs were sore, a reason, not again apparent. I woke up with a crick in my neck, and I spent most of my morning tossing and turning, each hour getting more desperate to get into a comfortable position. I haven't succeeded yet.
   The emotions swirled around, making a dreadful knot in my chest that was so heavy it seemed to drag me down. A type of knot that would sometimes crawl it's way up into my throat, making me choke and threaten to drip water from my eyes. I wouldn't let it though. I am not going to cry over this. It's been too long.
   This all seemed to envelop me so quickly, but I choose to ignore it as much as possible, until the very last moment, where I can't take it anymore. And I know this is pretty bad to do, I should ease myself into it, so that I don't spend all day in my bed, miserable. But it's easier this way, my mind can be clear until it fogs up for these couple of days.
   I breathe in. Out. I do it to try and relieve myself of the perpetual sickening feeling in my chest, but to no avail. It never works, but I can give myself some hope that my current state will end eventually.
   My head is once again buried under my pillows when I feel a vibration go throughout the covers and fluff on my bed. I sigh, waiting a moment, seriously debating whether or not I should use the small energy I have to check whatever my phone has to offer. After about three minutes, it sends another buzz into the bed, and I groan as I snap up, unsteady. The pillow that was on my face is now on my legs, launched from the force I emitted. I only roll my eyes at the apparent stupidity of the white inanimate object, and grab my phone that is on the other half of the bed. That half looks more tame; the covers seem almost untouched, while my side is messy and wild.
   I bring the phone to my face, and press the side button. I flinch at the small brightness it gives off. I haven't opened the curtains, or, for that matter, the door other than for breakfast. It's the evening already, and I haven't made lunch or anything. Dante had work again today, and after that he said he was going to hang out with Garroth and Laurance. He invited me, but I declined.
   My phone offered a text, so I went to read it. The first text was from Aphmau, who was at Kawaii~Chan and Katelyn's house. She joined them to watch Steven Universe.

Ella que no deja de halbar: Trashvis! Where are you? We're hanging out and watching SU at K and KC's house today! Was someone not informed correctly ;P

No, Aphmau, I knew. What I didn't know is if I should go.
   There was also another text, the one that made the second vibration from my phone. It was Zane.

Shadowy Nugget: Hey, uh, I thought you were coming to watch SU with us today?

I gulp, but my eyebrows furrow subconsciously.
   What, are you not even going to mention what happened a few days ago? Just act like it didn't happen? He was probably weirded out by me, why was he the second one to text me? I even still have his stupid piece of cloth he calls a mask. I should just burn it.
   No, don't do that Trav, that's his property. You should go to them, and bring it with you so that you can give it back to Zane.
   I breathe out slowly, looking down and thinking about it.
   I breathe out again, this time faster, knowing I've come to a decision. I get up, grunting as I have to use my legs after a while of having them inactive. The mask was set down on the counter next to the empty basket that I have yet to put away in some closet. I grab the stupid mask and go over to my own closet, and prepare my venture to outside. But, in all honesty, I just grab whatever seems okay together and lazily brush out my hair. I get some random dark colored shoes, and put them on after some socks.
   After I look very borderline presentable, I get up, grab my phone and the mask, and walk outside. The way there was silent, quiet and boring. The sky was very clouded, but it was definitely not going to rain. It still achieved that gloomy look though.
   I knock on the pine door, and wait for someone to open it. It takes a little while, perhaps I shouldn't even be here. Perhaps they're just having such a good time. Perhaps I'm just going to be a bother.
   I almost decide to start to head back to my lonely house when the doorknob rattles, and the door swings open to reveal a dark cloaked figure.
   Of fucking course it'd be Zane.
   I see him slightly freeze up, maybe my face reminded him of that horrible day. He probably doesn't even want to talk to me. Why did he even text me to get here? He obviously doesn't want to to see me.
   "Took you long enough." He says, swaying to lean on one leg, his awkwardness almost completely disappearing. I can see a small grin under his other mask. This one is different, it's a dark blue rather than his normal black one. That one's in my hand.
   "Here's your mask back." I say quickly, looking over to the side, shoving the piece of cloth into his hands. "I forgot to give it to you after... well, you know."
   Why did I even bring that up.
   "O-Oh, yeah. That." He laughs nervously, but then says, "Look, I'm actually really sorry about that whole incident. I.. uh, I wasn't thinking straight."
   "Yeah, yeah, it's fine." I say, a little too harshly. I'm still annoyed. My eyes keep avoiding his face entirely, and I can pretty much feel him get discouraged. He just looks down and steps to the side to let me in. I walk inside as I hear him close the door, and I don't even wait for him. I just want to sit down. I don't want to use my energy.
    "Hey, Travis is here!" Aphmau cheers, making sure I get the most attention out of everyone in the room.
   "Finally, dude." I hear Katelyn say.
   Wow, even she's joining us today? How many people are there here? Soon the whole neighborhood is going to be in a crowded room, staring at a screen.
   I just make my way to a seat on the left of the living room, the armchair. Zane sits back down to the right of me. Apparently that was his previous spot. Or everywhere else is taken. I don't think he wants to be near me willingly right now.
   Why did I even stay? I should've just left when I had the better chance. I am in no mood to be here, much less socialize. I sigh for the umpteenth time today, and get my phone out. If I'm not going to talk, I might as well try and beat a level in this new game I got.
   Everyone settles down, finding somewhere to sit and eating some cupcakes that Kawaii~Chan baked most likely just before anyone got here. The room goes quieter than what it was, as the Katelyn has started the new episodes. Everyone shuts up, either talking quietly to the person by their side or eating a red velvet cupcake. I shift my gaze a little, up from my phone.
   Zane, of course, has his dark blue mask down, enjoying himself while he digs into the actual cake after liking the frosting off. How does he eat all of the sweet frosting? I could bare perhaps one that isn't so sweet, but I can't eat many in one sitting. I'm more of a cookie guy. I guess I just have less of a sweet tooth than he does.
   My eyes trail down to his lips, and I find myself slightly staring. I force my eyes to rip apart from his lower, freckle-covered face as I scoff silently at myself.
   Ugh, you idiot. Stop glaring at him. Get that sun bathed scene away from your thoughts. It'll never happen.
   As much as I try to repress it, the image of us almost sharing a kiss while in golden light comes back to me, haunting me almost. I can't seem to shake it.
   I look down back to my phone, focusing more on trying to prevent myself from looking anywhere else that I don't even really see what my phone offers onscreen.
   What is wrong with you?
   One little incident like that and you're all shaken up. You can't even look him in the eye. You're too scared.
   I hear a shift from my right, and it's Aphmau nudging and whispering something to Zane. He almost hesitantly nods his head, and sets the wrapper of what used to be a cupcake on a side table to his left. Then, his eyes float over to meet mine.
   I shift uncomfortably, wanting to avoid this as my heart beat quickens. I feel a faint heat spread on my face.
   Oh Enki, why?
   He leans over so that it'd be easier to hear him, and I'm honestly somewhat intimidated. Just his action of leaning towards me brings me back to the grassy area.
   "Um, Travis?" He asks quietly, enough for me to hear. Aphmau has started up a chat with everyone to the right of her, she probably doesn't want any of them to listen to what Zane or I say. Zane fiddles with his thumbs as he says, "I, um, I'm really sorry about, y'know, what happened on the... date." He practically mouthed the last word so that no one could possibly hear him.
   I stop myself from scoffing or rolling my eyes or doing another slightly rude gesture, because I don't want to really talk about now. know he's being genuine, and I hardly see him genuinely apologize, so I hold myself back.
   "It's not your fault." I reply simply.
   "Well, I guess, but I still went for it. I just.. I don't want things to get awkward between us." He says, a hint of sadness in his eye. "You're actually... a.. a really good friend to me now."
   I know I should be moved. I know I should feel some sort of accomplishment for getting further in my goal. I know I should be happy that the angry Zane Ro'meave just said that and considers me a good friend.
   But I'm not.
   I don't want to talk to anyone. Not him. Not Aphmau. Not even my best bud Dante. So him being so apologetic right now isn't helping. Even if it should.
   "Well that's great." I say rather coldly, fiddling my nails and making it seem like I'm uninterested.
   Ouch.
   I feel how much that stung Zane.
   It took him forever to finally admit something like that, and I just shut him down.
   He tries one more time.
   "...Travis?" He speaks in a quiet tone, seemingly scared of what I could say. "You're not acting like yourself."
   "What, you think I'm a happy-go-fucking-lucky idiot all the time?" Now my voice has some detectable anger to it, but I don't know why. Perhaps my annoyance with the world has graduated into eventual anger.
   "Well you don't need to get snappy about it." Zane says back. He's putting up his own walls of anger as well. It's something he does so that he won't get hurt anymore. But I know I hurt him, even if it wasn't entirely intentional. I can see his partial anguish under his growing bitterness.
   "No, I don't. I just don't like it when people just assume I'm always happy." I snap again, looking down sharply.
   "I didn't fucking assume!" Zane raises his voice, and finally the other people in the room take notice of what's happening to the left of them.
   "Well maybe I wasn't taking about you." I look back up at him. "Not everything has to be about you." I don't really raise my voice, but I definitely put more anger and power into it. In the pause after those words escape my mouth, it's abundantly clear that the others have been listening in. That's when I get once again uncomfortable, and I shake my head. I get up, phone clutched in hand, and walk around the armchair to get to the door.
   "Wha-? Travis, where are you going?" Aphmau asks.
   "Home," is the last word I speak before shutting the door -- pretty harshly -- and starting the walk back to my house.
   I knew I should've fucking stayed there. I should've just returned the mask and left. I know how I'm feeling. And that feeling is really conflicted.
   I just had to stay. Now I've messed things up even more. Of course, leave it to me to screw things up worse than it possibly could be. He hates me now, I'm sure of it. Everyone else in that room now knows somethings up, and will probably gossip to others about it. 'Cause everyone's just so curious.
   I take a breath.
   I open the door.
   I really just need to stay in my room for this week.

Word count: 2316
SO LIKE
IDK WHY THIS ONE'S SO LONG
BUT WHY NOT??
y'all better enjoy this it's almost one in the morning I felt inspired.
But like no seriously no one gonna guess? I mean I won't respond so I won't give it away but yeah.
Also tomorrow is the day I'm leaving, so idk how much time I'll have to myself once I'm over there (and I'll be there for almost a full two months kms)
Hoping I'll be able to keep updating normally (Lmao what's a normal schedule I don't have that pfffft)
Live, Love, Lapis, hope y'all have a wonderful day or night. Bye my marvelous Gems~!