The One That Understands Me | A Zanvis FF [COMPLETE]

Chapter XXXXI - Help?

~Zane's PoV~

   Silence follows after Travis exits the house.
   I breathe slowly, trying to calm down as I process what happened.
   Aphmau looks over to me, as the others are staring at the door or just changing their gaze to stare at me. They're curious. They want answers.
   "What... what just happened?" Aphmau asks, bewildered. Before answering, I take a look at the girl's behind her. Kawaii~Chan honestly looks a little frightened, and Katelyn is wearing a concerned expression, with a smudge of anger. She probably thinks I said something to tick him off, and usually she'd be barking at me like the hot head she is, but she's holding it down.
   "I.. I don't know." My voice slightly cracks as the growing knot in my throat nearly prevents me from speaking. I look over fully at Aphmau. I must have a sad expression on because her face visibly softens as I turn to her.
   "Zane," she almost coos, "what happened? Why did he just..?" She turns to the door, trailing off.
   I stay silent, and I feel shaken. I have a sudden urge to leave, I don't like all their judgemental eyes looking at me. Questioning me with their gazes.
   I gulp.
   "I'm sorry, but I think I'm gonna have to go." I say quickly, grabbing my phone from the side table. I get up from my comfy spot on the couch.
   "Wait, Zane, why--" Aphmau starts, but I cut her off. I don't want to answer any questions right now. I feel like I'm afraid myself.
   "Aphmau, please, I just.." I don't know what else to say, and my voice definitely cracked that time. "I need to go." I sigh heavily and almost race to the door, swinging it open. I enter the somewhat  chilled outside world, and close the door. The surrounding area looks clear, as enough time has passed for Travis to go back home.
   I quickly walk back to my own home, going across the street in a fast paced walk so that the girls won't see much of me. They can probably see me through the window right now.
   I try my best to keep my eyes glued to my destination, but often they wander to the house just next to mine: Dante's and Travis's house.
   I make my eyes look at my house only.
   No. Not right now. Maybe later, but not now.
   I enter my shared house, walking into the living room. Garroth, Laurance, and Dante are in there, playing a video game on our game console. I don't really know what it is exactly, I'm not much of a video game person, but apparently the console is of latest version.
   "Oh, hey baby brother." Garroth looks up from the screen, while the other two are completely engrossed in their game. It even seemed like life or death.
   I gave a half-hearted wave and marched upstairs without a word. He might've figured out something was bothering me, or maybe not. He can be a little slow sometimes.
   Just as I open my bedroom door, I hear Laurance's annoying voice ring throughout the house.
   "Dante, you're dead! How dare you hit me with a blue shell! I was in first place!"
   I guess Garroth's little catchphrase caught onto Laurance.
   I close my door and crawl into bed despite it being only around eight o'clock. I sigh into the pillows, frowning at my actions of today.
   Okay, it might not have been entirely my fault, but I did add to the fire. Even though I should've just clamped up and let Travis have his bad day, I shot back with force. But, it's basically an instinct by now, to avoid getting hurt, even if I did already.
   But then again why'd he have to respond like that? I take a big leap, saying he's a really good friend to me, and he just brushes it off like it's nothing? I mean, perhaps to him making a new actual friend is like second nature but not me. It takes a certain amount of trust for me to admit that someone's a really good friend to me. And he just disregards it.
   I huff as I try to stifle anger as it comes to me again. But I can't seem to hold it back.
   So he's just going to brush my words off, like they don't even matter? And what was all that about everything not having to be about me? I know that! I wasn't even implying it was all about me. Have I really gotten on his nerves so much that he snapped? Do I annoy him that much?
   If I do, then why does he tolerate me enough to hang out with me?
   I roll over in bed, making myself look upwards at the crystal-filled ceiling.
   Did Aphmau put him up to this? Is he doing all this because Aphmau wanted me to have another friend? Or is it because she doesn't tolerate me either anymore? I wouldn't be too surprised.
   I laugh dryly, bringing my right hand up to run it through my hair.
   Is she tired of having me around already?
   I thought I was finally making solid progress in truly becoming one of the group. But I guess not. Does anyone even like me?
   No, Zane, don't think like that. You're over thinking things again. Aphmau does like you, why else is she always trying to constantly help you and be there for you?
   You're a good person, at least you try to be. And maybe with a little more help, you can actually get where you want to be. Just keep trying.
   That's the most positivity that has spewed from my head in forever. I suppose Aphmau really is rubbing off on me.
   I'm going to give effort. I want to keep being friends with Travis, even if sometimes I do yearn for more. And if I want to keep this relationship going then I need to put in effort. It has usually only been Travis putting in effort and having ideas of what to do or how to cheer me up. But that's going to change. I want to show that, under perhaps a lot of layers of indifference, I do care.
   And that's my mission.
   And I'm going to start it!
   ...But maybe tomorrow. I woke up way to early today, and my energy is spent.
   I sigh, but this time it's a more relieved one.
   I can try. Even if it's not perfect.

Word count: 1090
OKAY SO LIKE I WROTE A LOT IN THE AIRPORT AND I GOT SOME TIME TO WRITE HERE
So yeah
The room I'm in is a little stuffy but we're gonna fix it
Eventually
Live, Love, Lapis, I wish y'all a good day or night. Bye my lovely Gems~.