Healing (jax & bianca; backstage) ✔️

eight

j.g

     Jax cannot wrap is mind around everything that's happened. Kit's death. The party. Bianca bringing up their past. It's all too much for him. As soon as Bianca mentions freshman year, he drives away. He can't be around anyone. Especially not friends of Kit.

Jax parks his dad's car in the driveway and takes the keys. He tries to put on a brave face for his parents so they won't ask him why he left the party early and what's bothering him. But once he enters the house, he breaks. He runs up to his bedroom and the tears flow.

"Jax? What happened?" his mom calls. She follows him into his bedroom. Jax is face down on his bed with his legs hanging off the edge. He sobs into the sheets.

"Jaxon, did something happen at the party?" Mrs. Gardner asks. Jax flips over onto his back.

"I can't do this mom," Jax cries. "I can't pretend that I'm okay. I can't pretend that I can move forward. I feel numb."

Mrs. Gardner slowly walks up to her son's bed. Seeing him in tears just about makes her cry too. "Jax, what happened at the party?"

Jax rolls over to his side, facing the wall. He folds his arms, snug against his chest.

"Was Bianca there?"

That makes Jax silent.

"Was she?" his mom repeats calmly.

Jax faces her again and wipes his eyes. "Yes," he says simply, but he doesn't know why it matters if Bianca was there or not. His problem is that he misses his best friend Kit, right? Or is it something else also?

"Honey, if you don't tell me what's wrong I can't help you. And your father and I really want to help you." Jax's mom sits on his bed and touches his knee.

Jax sniffs and says, "Mom she was there. I walked in and she was there. But once I saw her, I ran out."

"And then you came home?"

"Nope. She ran after me."

"Really? Then what?"

Jax sits up and then sighs. He swallows hard before speaking again. "She came up to my car-dad's car and I let her come in. Then we addressed both of our losses."

"So why is that bad?"

"She wanted to talk about freshman year."

Jax's mom quirks up an eyebrow and he gets the impression that she forgot about what had happened and he's afraid he'll have to explain. What happened in freshman year is the second biggest thing in his life. Kit passing away of course is first. He didn't want to talk about it with Bianca and he doesn't want to talk about it to his mother who forgot.

"Sorry could you clarify what happened then? I think I've forgotten."

Great. There she goes.

"Mom did you really forget? We talked about it so many times. Too many times."

Mrs. Gardner gives a tiny smile, but Jax isn't amused. He can't smile. Not when he thinks about freshman year and how Kit helped him through it all.

"Oh, I think I remember. You and Bianca-"

Jax flops back into his bed hard. "Mom I lived through it you don't have to remind me."

There's a silence between them for a moment, then Mrs. Gardner randomly says something. "You loved her."

Jax's eyes shoot open and he opens his mouth. "Um what?" he asks in a shaky voice.

"Kit."

Jax sighs in relief but he doesn't know why. He shakes the strange feelings away.

"You love and miss Kit," his mom says. "And so do I. She was a delight. The only true friend you've ever had."

Yup. Kit was amazing. But the only true friend he's ever had? His mom is wrong about that one. For a good moment in freshman year, he had one of the most deepest, emotional friendships and it was someone other than Kit. But now, he no longer speaks to that person regularly.

"I miss her so much," Jax cries. "I can't do this anymore."

"You just need a distraction," Mrs. Gardner suggests.

"You want me to forget about Kit?"

"Oh goodness no. I just think you need something to lift your spirits."

Jax rolls his eyes. "Like what? How could anything lift my spirits after losing a friend?"

Mrs. Gardner stares at her son with soft, motherly eyes. "Because there is someone in the exact situation as you."

Why did she mention it? Jax knew it already. He talked to her about it at the party and knowing that Bianca is in his situation too doesn't change what he thinks about freshman year and what he thinks about her.

He doesn't want to speak to Bianca since the incident in the car, but the next day at school he's put into a situation he can't escape. While at his locker, he notices Bianca staring at him. Then she walks closer.

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Finally updated this story. Since backstage s2 came out I've had MAJOR jianca inspiration. I love these two so much. They deserved better. Favorite and comment! I'd love to know your thoughts :)