Healing (jax & bianca; backstage) ✔️

ten

j.g

   When Jax steps out of math class, he sees Bianca hugging Scarlett and it warms his heart. He feels bad for getting annoyed at Bianca and getting mad at her in the car, but he's just not ready to forgive yet. Lately his brain only has room for Kit. Until he can truly accept she's gone and start living in the present, he may talk to Bianca about freshman year one day. But for now, he just smiles at her and they share a glance.

At lunch, Jax sits with Alya and they talk about Miles and how much they miss him. Then Jax tells Alya about the news he got from Bianca.

"Wow, so you're gonna be DJ DiamondMind?" Alya says as she bites her sandwich.

"No," Jax says, mouth full of bread. "I haven't accepted yet."

Alya sets her sandwich on her brown paper bag. "Why not? You're just as good at DJing as Kit? "

"It's not that easy Alya. Being DJ DiamondMind is a big responsibility."

"But wouldn't you want to do it for Kit?"

Jax sets his sandwich down and sighs. "I guess. I'll have to think about it."

"Good." Alya grins. "Now can I ask you something?"

"Depends."

"Can you please talk to Bianca again?"

"No," Jax says quickly.

"But you two are in the same situation and you can help each other deal with your emotions."

Jax shakes his head and picks up the sandwich again. "I don't want to. I can deal with my emotions by myself."

"Are you sure?"

"Alya, I don't need her help. She doesn't need my help. We don't need each other."

Alya smirks. "That's not what you said in ninth grade."

"Huh? What are you talking about."

"You told me you needed Bianca when we were freshman's. You said she helped you feel normal."

Jax crossed his arms. "I did. Until what happened."

"So what did happen?"

"You already know Alya."

"I know but want to hear you say it. Maybe you can finally forgive her."

Jax stares at Alya, then looks down. "I admit, I did need Bianca in ninth grade. But after she accused me of cheating on Jenna, I couldn't be her friend anymore."

"Now was that so hard to say?" Alya teases, making Jax smile.

"Yeah, but I still won't talk to her."

"Okay. But just know Jax, she's willing to talk to you. She's been holding on for the past three and a half years, hoping you'd forgive her. Hoping to be your friend again."

"Did she tell you that?"

"No. But I can feel it." Alya looks deep into his eyes. "She misses you Jax.

"Did she say that directly to you?"

"No but-"

"Then I don't believe you." Jax grabs his lunch and walks away from the picnic table. Back inside Keaton, he almost bumps into Bianca because his head is down.

"Woah I'm sorry," Bianca says.

"Whatever." Jax brushes past her quickly.

"Wait Jaxon." Bianca grabs his arm.

Jax stops, but avoids her eyes. "What?"

"Scarlett told me that you don't have to be DJ DiamondMind. She just wanted to get Kit's wish out to you."

"Good, cause I don't think I can."

"Be DJ DiamondMind?"

"No talk to you."

Bianca frowns. "What do you mean?"

"Well I assume after this, you've got nothing else to say to me. Unless you want to tell me that I'm a cheater or something."

Bianca puts her hands on her hips. "Oh so now you want to talk about ninth grade?"

"No. I'm done now." Jax walks by her, but he can feel her following him.

"Jax wait!"

He pauses in the middle of the hallway and closes his eyes. He almost doesn't want to turn around, but something Kit said to him before makes him do it. She told him, "sometimes those who hurt you, mean the most to you. Because if they hurt you, it means they've invested enough feelings to actually hurt you. And if they really mean something to you, they'll do anything to apologize."

Jax turns around and before he can say anything, Bianca is running towards him at full speed and then she engulfs her arms around him. Jax is shocked, but he lets his arms rest on to her back. He doesn't smile, but he feels a peaceful comfort when he is hugging her.

"This is for losing your best friend," Bianca whispers as she clings to him.

At first, Jax thinks she referring to herself and how they hardly ever spoke to each other in the past three and a half years. But he realizes she means Kit's death.

"You don't have to talk to me ever again after this," Bianca continues. "But I'm very sorry you had to go through that. I miss Kit so much."

"Uh thanks. I'm sorry you had to go through that too. I miss Miles like crazy."

Jax can feel Bianca's loud sniff in his ear as she pulls apart. He catches a tear fall as her face slowly inches father and father away from his. And then as her arms slip away from his back, the bit of peacefulness he felt, vanishes; he watches her scurry down the hall, confused.

But then Jax realizes. Is that last time he will ever speak to Bianca Blackwell?

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