blessed • stephen curry [sequel]

xiii. at the edge

Arzaya

"Arzaya?"

I cried louder than I have as I sprawled myself on the couch.

"Arzaya? Why are you crying?" Dad approached me on the couch as soon as he got home. "Stop crying, you're a big girl now, right?"

I sat up and wiped my eyes. "Daddy!"

"What's wrong?" he asked, gently tracing my hair.

I showed him my Barbie doll who lost its head. "Th-that kid from the playground broke my toy!"

My dad suddenly smiled in relief. "Honey, it's okay. Daddy will replace it for you. Dad's gonna buy you as much toys as you want, okay?"

"Really?" I wiped my eyes and sniffed. "Can I have a doll house too?"

"Anything for my little girl," he reassured, planting a kiss on my forehead. "Now stop crying."

Almost 2 days after dad died, I still haven't found the strength to go back to the usual.

Our relatives and people close to us have started to arrive the cemetery where they'd bury my dad. Despite the sun shining bright, all I could feel in my heart were heavy thunderstorms.

Why did he have to leave?

He was all I had.

When things went wrong, I always counted on him to make me feel better. He was always there and he understood me so well. But now that I realized it, I guess I never actually made my part and return it to him. It was all about me. I never even asked about how he's feeling or if something was wrong.

This was my fault.

That should have been me in his place. I deserved to die, not him.

"I miss dad already," Asher mumbled as I clung to him. We've been staring at the coffin for half an hour now. "Who am I supposed to watch the games with every Sundays now? He won't even get to see me get drafted in the NBA."

I hugged my brother tighter.

"Did you know he never missed a game that you broadcasted?" he informed, resting his chin above my head. My heart crushed every time I pictured my dad. "He's always proud telling me, Asher look at your sister she's doing a great job, blah blah blah. I used to be so annoyed."

I could feel my knees weakening again as I listened to him.

"But then," he continued, sorrowful. "I'd rather have him annoy me every day as long as I get to see him again."

I can't anymore. I tried so hard to tell myself that I was going to be okay, that everything would be back to normal, but thinking of a life without my dad was different. I couldn't take it.

I rubbed Asher's back and took a deep breath. "We're going to be okay. Dad's always here with us."

And for a moment, we just let ourselves feel each other's embrace. Losing dad only made me realize how important my family was to me and I would do anything for their sake. I was grateful for Asher and mom's presence knowing that they're still there and they won't leave.