blessed • stephen curry [sequel]

xviii. be careful

Arzaya

I wasn't really sure if I heard that right.

I wasn't even sure if he was real, at all, standing in front of me and telling me he missed me.

He missed me?

I sure was hallucinating.

"W-What are you doing here?" I averted my eyes and took a step back. "I have a restraining order on you—"

"It's over. It was just for three months, Arzaya," he reasoned.

My eyes widened. "Then, I'll file again!" I yelled at his face. "Leave me alone, Jackson!"

He suddenly shook his head in both panic and denial. "No, no, I'm not gonna hurt you. I just... I wanna talk."

I never imagined the day I'd face him again because I had it in mind that we were never crossing each other's paths ever again. Jackson was a nightmare I couldn't get out from. All the therapy I spent in London trying to get better and rebuild myself felt like a wasted effort. Because now that the person who has ruined my life, the person who has almost destroyed my mental well-being, and the person who put me in such a traumatic experience was here and I was losing a sense of courage.

Back to square one.

"Talk?" I snorted, feeling my chest rise up and down at a rapid pace. In my head, I had a brief flashback of the bad memories I had with him. "You wanna talk how you continuously beat me up? How you manipulated my head? How you ruined me both physically and emotionally... Huh, that's funny, Jackson. You think a 'talk' will erase all those scars?"

I was violently shaking. I couldn't get a grip of myself as I tried to breathe as calmly as I could.

"It won't," he answered understandingly. "I know I have no right to ask for forgiveness, but I really am regretting everything I ever did to you."

The absurdity.

"You..." I clenched my fist. "Don't you fucking act like you're suddenly the good guy now."

He was the most ruthless person I have ever met. He took advantage me, impregnated me against my will, forced me for an abortion, assaulted me, locked me in, and constantly sexually abused me. Part of me will never go back to the person I was because the very reason of my trauma was here.

Right in front of me.

He blinked a lot and I noticed how he looked fidgety as if he was cautious of me. He was treating me like a fragile thing.

"This 'talk' is over." I turned to leave and hurried my pace. All the while my heart felt like a time bomb—one trigger and it would burst out of my chest.

"Wait, Arzaya."

Before I knew it, I felt Jackson cling to me from behind. I flinched as if remembering how his touches had always been harsh and hurtful, but I froze at this point.

I was too stunned to move. He had his arms wrapped around my shoulders and his chin pressed near my neck. My whole body turned ice cold from his sudden touch.

"I did love you," he whispered on my ear. "I'm so fucking to stupid to realize it. Too fucking stupid that I had taken you for granted. You don't know how miserable I was when you left me. Arzaya, I'm—"