Dear Savanna

December 26, 2016

Dear Savanna, 

It finally happened, I've finally lost my mind. In the time you've been gone, which as of now is only a couple weeks, I've become a total wreck. Everybody has been worried about you, myself included. As your best friend, I consider it my duty to catch you up on just how quickly everything seems to have gone to shit since you left. 

Remember how Jamie and his family thought that I called social services on them even though I swore up and down that I didn't? Well, Jamie thought that he could get back at me by dating Austin, and even worse- he came up to the lunch table and rubbed it in. I nearly cried. I had never felt such embarrassment and resentment in my life. Jamie was supposed to be my friend, and then he went and stabbed me in the back because of something I didn't even do. I felt so betrayed by him AND Austin. When he was through putting a show for the girls at the table, he got back up and walked away. I was honestly speechless. I said something to Austin about it, asked him how he could do something like that to me, and you know how he is when it comes to coming up with bullshit excuses. Jamie told me he broke up with him later though... something along the lines of  "he wasn't the one for me", but I'm guessing he already knew that since he only dated him to get back at me for something I never even did. 

Another thing that's new: Britney and Bo have apparently been broken up for three months now, but for they're still acting like they're together for some reason, like it's all one big charade for the cameras to keep up appearances, and something tells me that wasn't Bo's idea. Britney clings to him like a lost puppy, it's pathetic. Britney told me she was losing feelings for Bo, and honestly I can't blame her- the guy is an ass, but if she was really losing feelings then why put on an act for everybody? Why waste her time, and his? It doesn't make any sense.

But since we're speaking of Britney, her and Sandy are friends of again. In case you don't remember who Sandy is- she was the one in the booty shorts that was talking about us at the Down Home Festival. Yeah, her. And do you know why they're friends again? Because Britney is obsessed with babies and Sandy just happened to get knocked up. Sandy's sister has had so many miscarriages, nobody can keep cant, and Sandy isn't going to be any better. If you ask me, neither one of them have any business having kids. That's besides the point though- what has me so salted is that Sandy was one of the ones accusing Britney of lying about James raping her in middle school, and Britney knows that. None of Britney's "friends" believed her, but now that Sandy is having a baby, it's like "oh, it's okay!" and it honestly makes me sick.

Moving on...  Skylar and Noah broke up- as if we didn't see that coming. She lost her virginity to him at Nevaeh's party when they were both completely drunk off their asses, and ever since then she has been acting like she's afraid he's going to leave her. And then they broke up over the dumbest thing- Noah's friends asked him a question about a girl, and he didn't answer, so Skylar got upset and that was pretty much them breaking up. It was the dumbest thing. What's even more pathetic is that Skylar got with some other guy right after that to make Noah jealous, but I guess that worked because they got back together after that. Pathetic...

That would honestly make me sick. He looks like a leprechaun and he smokes like a chimney, not to mention the fact that he doesn't even dress well. He's got to be under five feet tall, and he's got dark hair and a beard. He's got holes in his jacket sleeves that he pokes his fingers through and he listens to the trashiest music I've ever heard in my entire life. I swear to God, I thought my ears were going to bleed. Just describing him makes me sick. It's revolting. He is nothing more than a distraction from Austin. 

And I have news of mine, so brace yourself. I've tried my hardest to get over Austin without doing something stupid like this, but it just feels impossible. Like I told you when we last spoke, the reason I think I'm so attached to Austin is because I lost my virginity to him, so the way I think I can break the connection I have with him is to just have completely meaningless sex.