Formula One Shots

An Angel - Lewis Hamilton

Warning: This One Shot is including a miscarriage if you don't want to read it just skip it.

You were happy.

You thought that your life was perfect. You never thought anything could destroy that. You thought you are strong. You thought you would never feel such pain. You thought...

You are standing in front of the mirror. When you look up you are seeing a broken person.

You were happy.

You were.

A few weeks ago you was holding up a pregnancy test. Positive. Lewis and you were over the moon. A baby would have completed your luck.
It would...

But God had made other plans for you. He wants to see you shattered. He wants to see you destroyed. He wants to see you broken.

You feel empty. You get used to the little baby bump that you have already got. You get used to the fact that Lewis kissed you at the morning and right after that your bump. You get used to the feeling to be pregnant.
You get used...
and now you are empty.

Even Lewis wasn't at home you felt comfortable. Just because you knew that the thing he loves at most was right under your heart.

And now?

It's gone.

You had a miscarriage.

You are shattered.

You are destroyed.

You are broken.

As it happened Lewis wasn't at home. You were alone. Only you felt the loss.

You have screamed.
You have cried.
With your last power you have called the ambulance.

It happened 5 weeks ago.
Nothing has changed.

You are shattered.

You are destroyed.

You are broken.

Lewis tries everything to help you.
You can't imagine someone better then him.
He tries to be as solid as a rock.

He tries.

Really.

But every evening, when he thinks you are asleep, he is crying.

He loves kids.
He would be a perfect dad.
He would really be.

You look back at the mirror.
You don't know what you should think about yourself.

You lost your little, unborn child.

You are letting happen that your husband is crying every evening besides you.

You shot every person out.

What kind of monster are you?

You haven't noticed how much you have hurt Lewis with your behaviour.
He wants to help you.
You are his queen.
But he is breaking apart, too.
But he has to be strong.

For you.

For both of you.

You can only get other this loss, together.
You know that.
Everything is so clear in your mind until you get up to do the right thing, and then?
You aren't feeling your baby bump.

And you are falling.
Falling into your deep, black hole.
Nobody can catch you there.
Not even you.

You are lost.

And you know that.
You will give up.
But Lewis won't.
He is a warrior.
He will fight.

For both of you.

You look at the mirror.
Again.

You are shattered.

You are destroyed.

You are broken.

But are you really lost?

No.
Somebody is waiting for you.

Your husband.
The love of your life.
The person you need like the air to breath.

You have to be strong, too.
But are you a warrior?
You don't know, but you know that you have to fight.
For you.
And for Lewis.

You are turning your back to the mirror.
What do you see now?
You are seeing the back of a warrior.
The back of a fighter.

You are searching Lewis.
You know he must be at home.
He never leaved you since your miscarriage.
You are calling him.
And within seconds he is standing in front of you.
Your beautiful husband.
He is looking worried at you.
Lewis is thinking the worst.
He just wants to ask you if everything is ok as you are falling into his arms.
It's the first time that you are allowing physical contact.
You know you are on the right way.
Lewis is lifting you up. Carrying you to the couch.
You are laying in his arms.
The place you always feel safe.

Suddenly you are starting to cry.
At first Lewis tries to calm you down, but after a while he starts crying, too.
You don't know how long this moment was.
You only know it was the first step in the right direction.
To cry together means that you are going threw the same pain.
The same loss.
Not only you have lost a child.
Lewis have lost a child, too.
Together you are strong.
Together you can close this chapter.
But just one person from both of you would write the ending until his end.

From that moment both of you started to fight together.
Love means to climb over every obstacle together, equal how high is it.
And with every day you fight together you are becoming stronger.
Your smile is appearing again.
Your laugh causes that Lewis heart beat faster.
The band between you is unbreakable.

-

Lewis and you are sitting in your living room.
Since the moment you have decided to fight you haven't spoke about your miscarriage, but both of you are knowing you have to speak about it.
One last time.
Your head is resting on Lewis chest as he suddenly begins to speak.

"Y/N? We have to talk"
You are nodding, unable to speak. You wait until Lewis is speaking again.
"Y/N. The last few weeks were a ride on the rollercoaster. Ups and downs. I know our loss is irreplaceable. But we got other it. Together. I will always carrying our little baby in my heart. God is choosing the best ones of our world, to be with him. I feel that our little baby is up there, by him. The baby will always take care of us. Always. It's an angel now."
And with his words Lewis is showing you a new tattoo.
You start crying.
The tattoo is an angel wing.
Under the wing is the date of your loss and the words "You will always be loved"

It was time for a Hamilton One Shot.
This One was a request by QueenAmi I hope you have liked it.
If you have any requests feel free to tell me. -> REQUESTS ARE OPEN