{ 29 } Broken

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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

" grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you  "

"  grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you  "

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I sneak back into camp, streaks of black smeared across my face. The sword on my back felt like it was burning me, it's metal clinging to my skin. I felt heavy, my heart weighing too much for me to carry any longer.

I had spent a week or so with Lincoln, who trained me- teaching me their language and how to fight and dress like a grounder. Or Trikru- a Clan of grounders within the whole. I knew the bare minimum to get away with what I had too, so there was still so much. Because earlier after having a "minimal amount of knowledge" as Lincoln put it— I went to visit my father in Polis, the largest city. Where their leader was, yet also the hardest place to sneak into as their enemy. It buzzed with shops and people, like a trade market. It seemed like they truly lived there in peace, making me wonder if some day the hundred could have that. At this point, it seemed like a pipe dream.

Now, I come back to camp barely holding it together. The area is lit with a few torches strategically stationed, and a fire. I let my feet carry me to wherever they take me, too tired and sluggish to do anything else.

My feet drag against the dirt as I duck under the orange tent, large enough for one bed. I open my eyes, adjusting to my surroundings. The bright light stings my eyes, and I hold a hand over them.

Raven sits on the bed, and by her wide eyes she's clearly taken aback by my appearance. I hadn't bothered to wash off all the paint at Lincoln's, choosing to shrug off the heavy cloths instead.

A sob wracks through my body as I suck in an uneven breath, tears brimming in my eyes.

"Can I take you up on that offer?" I whisper, my voice cracking unevenly as the tears spill down my face, no longer to keep it back in. As usual, I couldn't bury anything without something more being piled on. My face crumples, my mouth twisting in pain.

Raven's lips form a frown. "Oh my god," Slips past her lips, my sunken face obviously striking enough to cause worry.

Raven nods, opening her arms to me. I gladly accept, falling into her embrace weakly, my body convulsing. Her hands run down my hair comforting me, wrapping her arms around my body.

"Avalon, what the hell happened?"

EARLIER THAT DAY

I duck under a tarp in a secluded corner of Polis, where few people walked by, and the trade posts were down to a minimum, the towering building far away. I had gawked at the sights when I entered, trying my best not to look like a tourist.

Our Salvation || Bellamy BlakeWhere stories live. Discover now