My Life In The 11Th Division As A Girl

I want out: I don't want to lose her

Sia's POV

Sadness. It was everywhere. I could feel it between my fingers. I could smell it flouting through the air. I could hear it whisper in the dark. I was trapped. In endless black. Not a single light shone. I felt cold and wet. I was lying in a pool of water. The water being the tears I have shed in my life. I flouted around. Unable to move i just watched as the endless black shifted. Tears fell from my eyes adding to the pool of salty tears that lay beneath me. I felt nothing but guilt and sadness. It engulfed me. It suffocated me. I wanted out.

But with every tears I shed I fall deeper and deeper. The pool grows deeper and deeper. I wanted out. Just when I was about to loss all hope and let myself become engulfed in the pool of tears something happened that had never happened before. A small light appeared. It was small. But a light none the less. I found the strength and reached for it. It was my way out. And I wanted out. 

As I reached for the light my body seemed to become weightless. My whole body lifted up from the pool of tears and up towards the light. As I grew closer to the light. It grew bigger and soon I was engulfed in white light. I was out. 

My eyes flickered open to stare at a plain white roof. I blinked a few more times. I looked down from the roof and to the bed I was in. Green sheets spreads across my body. I saw someone with their head on my bed just at my belly area. It had a familiar face to it. It took a few moments but soon remembered. 

Yumichika's POV. 

Sia had been in squad 4's barracks and is being treated for serious wounds. It had been 3 weeks since the battle. I have been by her side since i got here. Rarely sleeping. Only going out the room for the toilet. I have had little to eat. I am just to worried about her. Captain Unohana said she may not wake up. I don't want to lose her.

The captain and Ikkaku cannot even come in because they are afraid of losing her. The captain blames himself for this saying how if he was there this would not have happened. Ikkaku just does not want to be seen crying by anyone. They don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose her. I had finally just got to sleep when I heard and felt rustling.

I looked up to see two blue eyes. I was glad to see them. But they were not the eyes I wanted. They were hollow almost shell-like. She did not speak a word. She just look me in the eyes. I felt cold and lost. I called the captain. She came. She was shocked. She never expected her to wake from her slumber. She ushered me out the room so she could preform tests. 

I paced back and forward. I want to know if she is back. After 10 agonizing minuets of waiting the captain came out. Her face was sad. She wanted to talk with me. We talked for a bit. She told my Sia was back. But there's was one problem. She is in a state of depression. We are not sure why but it explains the reason for the hollow look in her eyes. The captain then went on that it us a serious type.

Sia will not speak. Move. Eat. Drink. Nothing. All she will do is stare into space. The captain then advised we take her back to her house and keep close watch on her. She then went in to tell us to be prepared for the worst. The next day Sia was moved into her house. Everyone in the barracks was on edge. The aura of the place that was normally happy and contempt was now sad and still. 

Not one person in the barracks was not upset by the news of Sia. I was sitting in my room alone. Thinking. I hated this. I don't want to lose her. But it seems I might. I had to get my head around the fact that this is no battle I can help in. This battle only Sia can participate in. A single tear fell down my face. I caught it. The first real tear I have shed in a long time. I felt like I was about to lose my only daughter. I don't want to lose her.

Sia's POV

I lay in my bed. Reflecting over my childhood memories that I had with deeko. The laughs we shared. The secret that were said. The love we had for each other. He was always there for me but when he need me the most I was not for him. I let him down. 

I am a wast of space. 

I am a failure. 

I might as well die. Wait what am I saying I have people that care about me. I have yumichika, the captain, Ikkaku and everyone else who had been kind to me. I stared at the roof. And nothing else.

Yumichika's POV

It had been a week now and Sia has not spoke, eat, drank or moved. They only way she did eat was the drips i was given to give her. She just lies there staring at the roof. With her hollowed looking eyes. I hated seeing her like this. She has now grown thin and weak. Her skin was pale. Her lips blue and cracked. She was now fragile. Her swords have been dark almost a black colour. I hate to say this but. I think the captain was right. I do not think she will ever come back. But i most certainly hope she will come back to us. In her own time.