Random One-shots (Complete)

Sheogorath x reader: The knife game

Author here, please note that you shouldn't play this game because you saw it on a fanfic and thought it looked 'cool' it's dangerous if you do not know what your doing, I haven't played it myself but I have watched people do it on youtube, if you wish to try it yourself then be sure to watch videos before trying them yourselves (and if your brave), I only put it in this because it is something I see Sheogorath doing. Aside from that enjoy the oneshot.

Sheogorath wandered through the wilderness that was known as Mania, he was in a good mood after messing with a town on Tamirel, plus he needed to feed his undead dogs, and his Puppy, he liked puppies, and butterflies. He twirled his staff in his right hand as he mumbled some random tune that came to mind (whatever was left of it anyway), he looked around the scenery and smiled at the 'peace' that it showed. However he frowned when he felt a disturbance in his train of thought.

It was the sound of metal hitting stone, faintly as well as muffled singing, odd, the only people he had banished from his city were the ones who had got on his bad side as well as that ridiculous 'Sheogorath was once human' cult.

He followed the sound and was met with a (gender/race type) holding a knife with their other hand on the ground, they seemed to be singing while dropping the knife in between their fingers.

Oh I have all my fingers! 

The knife goes 'chop! chop! chop!' 

If I miss the spaces in between, 

my fingers will come off...

They continued to sing and not once had the knife hit their fingers, Sheogorath wished it did but at the same time he was fasinated by this game, he had never heard of it before and the last time he had been on Tamriel no one had ever played it near his shrines. He waited until they had finished the song before walking up to them, a rather pleased and sadistic grin growing on his face as he got closer to them.

He placed the cane inbetween his arm and torso before clapping enthusiastically at the performace he had just witnessed, the (race type) jumped up and saw who it was, they bowed and made sure not to make eye contact.

"Here I was having an amazing stroll through my realm and what do I see before me?" he asked to himself "a dead mortal playing a game I've never heard about, care to share?" there was a hidden threat hiding that sentance.

The (race type) looked at him with slight shock before nodding "I would have taught you even without the threat you know" they pulled out the kife out of the dirt and spread their other hands fingers on the rock "here's what you need to do..."

(Citizen P.O.V)

We spent half the day playing the knife game and not once had we injured our fingers, I swear Lord Sheogorath was enjoying himself with the twisted game. Once we realised the time Lord Shoegorath decided to have one last game but with a twist.

"How about we use the knife on the other persons hand?" he asked "but with a sword?"

"It's called 'the knife game' so maybe a dagger? They are similar even in size"

In other words, yes.

I started first and began to sing as I stabbed inbetween the Mad God's fingers, not once did I hit his hand. After I had finished I handed Sheogorath the knife then placed my hand on the ground, I had a feeling he was going to cut my fingers off, but I didn't really care, not like I used them much anyway.

"Oh! I have all my fingers!The knife goes 'Chop! Chop! Chop!'

If I miss the spaces inbetween,

My fingers will come off!

And if I hit my fingers,

The blood will soon come out,

But all the same

I play this game

'Cause that's what's it's all about!"

I got distracted by his voice as he sang the song, it sounded slightly off key but with a voice like his, he could make any song sound amazing. Then I noticed him picking up the pace.

"Oh, Chop! Chop! Chop!

Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop!

I'm picking up the speed!

And if I hit my fingers,

Then my hand will start to bleed-"

"AAH!" Sheogorath had stabbed the knife straight into the centre of my hand (where your palm is but on the oppisite side), what in Oblivion?

"Sorry" his face clearly said the oppisite, he yanked the knife out of my hand, making the blood go all over the place.

Out of reflex I held my hand closer to my chest and tried to stop the bleeding. I didn't have any bandages with me, only cloth.

However as soon as I reach out for my bag, Lord Sheogorath grabs my hand and proceeds to lick the blood on both sides, and all in one go!

"Consider this a thank you for introducing me to a new game, maybe Haskill will join us next time" he left in a flock of butterflies.

His saliver stung the wound but by the Daedre did that look good, especially when he tried to lick it off his hands, and his mouth, I had to look away when my face started warming up, and drool. When I looked down at my hand, I was shocked to see that there was no injury at all, it was completely healed up.

I looked in the place he had just been, resting in the place he sat was the same ebony with a red handle  dagger that he used during the game, it appeared to be holding a piece of paper in place. I lifted the dagger carefully, as if it might break and placed it in my satchel before grabbing the note and read it.

"Be sure to use the dagger next time, maybe we'll use it for something else"

What the...? Sighing out loud I placed both the dagger and note inside my satchel before getting up and making my way back home with a smile on my face, something told me that if I ever met his Lordship again, things would certainly be more interesting.