Sincerely Me (A Jeff the Killer Story)

Chapter Twenty Three~*

1- Jamie

Muscles sore, feet aching, my knuckles dripping blood onto the floor and staining the punching bag. That's what my life has become. EJ hasn't given me a chance to go back on what I told him New Year's Eve. I haven't let him give me a chance to go back on my word. It was originally going to be me training with Slender but I felt so out of shape that I worried he would never be able to take me seriously if I tried to work with him. So I've been dragging EJ out to the sparring room and working my body back into shape.

My day begins at six in the morning with a quick breakfast and then a two mile run. At first, EJ would easily outspeed me but, after three weeks of non-stop training, I'm starting to keep up with him for longer. After the run, we go inside and stretch before I hit the gym. During that time, EJ goes off and completes his tasks that Slender assigns him, while I try to fulfill whatever amount of sets he told me to do. When he's done with his tasks, he takes me from the gym and we go into the sparring room and go against each other in hand-to-hand combat.

We rarely talk when we're together. If we do, it's almost always him giving me orders. It's so much nicer working with someone like him. He isn't Jeff, who carries a lot of emotional burdens with him, and his isn't Slender, who I'd be expected to be perfect with all the time. EJ doesn't want anything from me, it's strictly just us working together. If we see each other in the mansion in our free time, there's nothing awkward about it. Finally, an uncomplicated relationship between someone.

On the other hand, I still can't look Sally in the eye. I've seen her around more times than I would have liked and I always become consumed by this immense guilt. I know that there's nothing I can do to fix or change what happened but that doesn't make it easier on my conscious. I've always been fond of kids since they always seemed to be around when I was growing up. My mom always used to buy me baby dolls and I'd go around the house pretending to be it's mommy. Seeing something as horrid as what happened to Sally has left me shocked and unsure of how to react. So, I've just been avoiding her. Her and everyone else.

Most have been easy to avoid. The proxies have mostly been leaving me alone now that I've started training again. Darcy still pops in from time to time, though her presence is one I don't mind too much. She's become good at reading my moods and knows when it's okay to talk or not. Jeff is still gone from the mansion more than he is there. Occasionally, he'll pop in on my training sessions to watch but he doesn't say anything to me and leaves soon after coming. Gold is still being tugged around by Lavender. I go to extreme lengths to avoid the both of them.

I can't even deny it at this point. With the training, I've had too much time to think on my feelings with a much clearer head. I'm jealous of Lavender. Seeing them together makes my blood boil. Gold was my closest friend but now I'm stuck with just memories of him and the knowledge that she stole him from me. I feel so stupid to how blind I had been towards my feelings for him and his obvious feelings for me because either Gold treats every girl the same way or he liked me before and I had been too blind to see it.

A sharp pain suddenly goes through my hand and I step back, bringing up my hand to inspect it. My knuckles have been bruised constantly since I started back up but I notice some new, larger ones already forming. With a frown and a shake of my hand, I stop the swaying of the punching bag and start to walk out. I had gone there for some extra training but I think I'm done for today. My hand aches the entire walk back to the mansion, to the point where I scoop up some snow and use it to numb my hand a bit.

The air is freezing outside but due to my exertion in the gym, I'm sweaty feeling a bit overheated. I had ran over here in a sports bra and shorts, cursing myself the entire time too, but now the exposed skin appreciates the cool air.