The midwife walked in and prepared me, this is more painful than was with Brynjar and Eirik. It feels like I'm going to die, I'm scared.
Brynjar and Eirik were looking at me, they were scared to see me in so much pain. The slave took them out of the hut.
"Push one more time, your child is coming." The midwife told me.
I did and I heard a cry, I signed relieved. My child is here, I'm happy and sad at the same time. Ivar doesn't know about our child, I wish that he was here. I just realized that Ivar never saw me pregnant.
"Let me see it." I whispered to the midwife.
"It is a beautiful baby boy." She tells me and I started to cry.
He is beautiful, he looks just like his grandfather, Ragnar Lothbrook. He is blonde, with the same eyes of his father and grandfather. I didn't move, I started to breastfeed him. I was so tired, but I was happy to have my son on my arms.
"Your name is going to be Halstein, do you like it?" I whispered to him and he looked at me.
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"I wish that your father was here, he is Ivar Ragnarsson, he is a fearless warrior and Viking. Your grandparents are famous and fearless Vikings, I wish you and your brothers could meet them." I kiss his head and Brynjar and Eirik entered the hut.
"Look, this is your brother, Halstein." They look at his brother and smiled.
The slave leave us alone, I believe that is too painful for her, see my sons together.
"Papa." Brynjar says and my heart melted. His first word was papa.
"Yes, he looks like your father. Your father is Ivar Ragnarsson, the three of you will be great warriors and you will make the gods proud." I look at Eirik and he is still struggling to talk, I believe that he will take a little more time.
Now that Halstein is born, I'm afraid that Endre will finally kill me. He entered the hut with the slave, and now I'm panicking making Halstein cry.
"I thought about killing you, Steena. But I will not kill you, if you never look for Ivar again." He looks at me, waiting for my answer.
"What will happen to my sons?" I ask him.
"Nothing, if you never look for him again. You are going to live in this city and your sons are going to be safe, you are going to be safe too." He looks at me, and for some reason I believe in him.
"I will never look for Ivar." I say to him and my heart broke.
For keeping me and my sons safe, I need to be far away from the love of life. I was going to live, but I was not going to be happy.
......................................
Years passed and I was able to have a little farm, it wasn't easy. Winter was worst but we always survived, I was so afraid of Endre that I never returned to Kattegat.
