Love Never Dies

Part 37

Months passed and I didn't leave my bed, I was in so much pain. I could see that Ivar felt guilty, so I didn't told him about the pain. I know that Aslaug was in constant pain when she was pregnant with him, he is terrified at the thought of having a child like him.

"Steena, are you feeling better?" Ivar asked me, he couldn't sleep, I was starting to get worried.

"Ivar, you barely slept this night, please get some rest." I was trying to hide my pain, but Ivar saw right through it.

"You are still in pain, I need to take care of you." Ivar crawled to the bed and kissed my forehead, he sat next to me and put his arms around me.

I was in so much pain that I couldn't think straight, Ivar was saying something to me but I couldn't hear him.

He starts to rub my belly, it's not too big yet, but it's visible.

"You look so beautiful with my child on your belly." He kissed my cheek, I was so much cold.

"Ivar, can you grab some furs for me? I am cold." My eyes were closed, I have no energy.

He crawled and grabbed the furs, he puts on my body and comes back to the bed.

"I love you so much." He whispers in my ear.

"When did you discovered that you love me?" I asked him, hearing Ivar's voice it's the best thing to me now.

"Well, when we were kids and I killed that little boy, every child started to run, they were terrified of me. But you did not, you came with my mother and both of you calmed me. The only person that cared about me, was you and my mother. I was a kid, but I knew that I loved you." He chuckles and kissed my forehead again.

"I was so jealous of any boy that came talk to you, I would always scared them away." He plays with hair.

Despite the pain, I love being so close to Ivar like that. I could be in his arms forever, he makes me feel better.

"Ivar, if you loved me, why you were always distant from me?" I asked him.

"I thought that you were never going to love me, you were the daughter of Kaya and Brynjar. You deserve so much more than me, someone that does not bring pain in your life. I thought that I could kill you, I thought that I was not enough for you. And my heart would feel with anger and sadness, I could never speak too much with you, I remembered that you never would be mine." He smells my hair.

"But here you are, in my arms, having my sons and carrying my child. You are everything I need, I crave for you my Steena." This is the last thing I hear until I feel asleep.

I was sleeping the whole day, I didn't have the strength to leave my bed. The healer came to me every day, the baby was fine. The problem was with me, I don't know what's going on and I'm scared.

I was always crying too, I don't know why. I just wanted to cry and sleep all day, I was getting weaker. I didn't want to eat, or do anything else. Brynjar, Eirik and Halstein were always next to me on the bed, they were always talking to their new brother or sister.

"Mother, I was inside you before?" Halstein asked me, he was confused.

"Yes, and Brynjar and Eirik too. They were here first, this is why they are older." I was sitting on the bed with my back on the headboard, Brynjar, Eirik and Halstein were on my legs.

They were caressing my belly when Lagertha entered my room. She sits next to me on the bed and kissed my cheek.

"I was so worried about you, why you did not tell me that you and Ivar were together again before? I could have helped you." She whispers to me, so my sons couldn't hear.