Living My Dream (Book 2)

Fuck

Chesters Pov
I walked out to the bus after sharing a mind blowing kiss with Roxie. It has been so long since I have felt those soft lips on mine. I thought she was gorgeous back then, boy has time been good to her. She looks like a fucking supermodel these days. Finally after all this time I was able to hold her in my arms again, the void I had been feeling was finally fading away. I thought I had gotten over her, but damn was I wrong. The feelings were still there and stronger than ever. I felt like such a dick for yelling at her, I should have known something wasn't right. She would have never gave up on me like that, deep down i think I already knew it. Of course this fucked up skull between my ears makes me think some pretty dumb shit sometimes. None the less I should have never treated her like that, and I shouldn't have trashed the lounge at the venue. Mike is gonna be so fucking pissed. He is always in a super good mood, and he has helped me through a lot but he doesn't tolerate shit like this.
I opened the door and walked on to the bus and it instantly went dead silent. Rob, dave, brad,pheonix, and Hahn all went to their bunks. Leaving only me and mike in the living area. Fuck.. I thought again.
"Chester what the fuck is up with you man?" Mike hollered at me. You're not acting right lately. You have beeb so down and fucking depressed lately. Not only that but you trashed the fucking venue man. Do you know how fucking pissed they are gonna be when they see that shit? We will be lucky if we ever play a show here again! He yelled.
"Look man I'm sorry" I explained. I have been fucking out of it lately, I have really been having a hard time with shit.
"With what shit?" He yelled back.
"Life in general man!" I exclaimed. Like I don't even wanna feel shit man. There is so much from my past that fucks with me, you couldn't even begin to understand. I just fucking go off the deep end sometimes okay? I yelled. I promised you I would try to keep my mind right, and that I would try to keep my nose clean! And I am trying really fucking hard man but sometimes shit just overwhelms me. Tonight was definatly one of those nights man! I yelled back some more.
"So you just decided you would would wreck the venue and cheat on your wife with some whore?" He threw back at me.
"What the fuck man?" I screamed. For one I didn't mean to wreck the place mike, I just lost control I spat at him. And for two don't you ever call her a fucking whore again or I'll mop this floor with your fucking face. (Now i was pissed). For your fucking information I didn't cheat on samantha, nothing happened back there I explained.
"Don't threaten me chester!" He yelled. Im just trying to get to the bottom of this. This isn't like you, and I'm getting worried. I need to know that you can keep it together and we can do this tour without any problems. Aside from that I don't give a damn what you do or who you do it with, but sam is good to you and you may want to think about that before you throw your marriage away over some girl.
"You don't get it man!" I shouted. You have no idea who she is or what she meant to me I explained.
"You mean what she MEANs to you!" He exclaimed.
"No thats not what I said mike" I responded.
"No, it's not" he replied. Thats what I saw, you should have saw yourself Chester. You were holding on to that woman like she was your entire world, like you would die if she wasn't in your arms. You might tell yourself she meant a lot to you, but im telling you straight out she still does. You better getting your feelings for this chick sorted out, or it is going to lead to nothing but trouble for you and sam. What you choose to do is your decision, just make sure its one you can live with before its too late.
You're like a brother to me Chaz, I dont wanna see you end up the way you were when we found you. I'm gonna go talk to the people that run the venue and straighten shit out with them. Im just going to tell them we all had a bit to much to drink and got carried away. I will take care of the damages this time, but I won't do it again Chester! He said sternly. Go clean yourself up and get your shit together before we head to the hotel.
"Mike" I hollered. Thanks man, it won't happen again.
Mike went out of the bus to fix my fuck up, and I made my way to the bathroom to clean myself up. After I got a shower and got changed, I went to my bunk. I laid down and started to think about everything mike said earlier. Fuck.. I thought yet again, I did almost cheat on sam. Technically I did, I kissed another woman. It was under crazy circumstances none the less, but I still did it. The more I thought about it the worse I felt, not only did i forget about sam in a moment of weakness. I aslo didn't even think to telk Roxie I was married. Shit mike was right i thought, I have dug myself one hell of a hole.