Living My Dream (Book 2)

who?

Roxies pov
I stood there speechless after chester finished talking. Part of me was happy he had finally came to his senses, the other part of me broken because it seemed as though he had just chosen to stay with Samantha. I looked in his beautiful brown eyes and saw the hurt that was burried deep inside him. I knew he loved me, but I also knew he didn't want to hurt her after all she had done for him. I really couldn't hate her if I tried, from everything he has told me she saved him and I should actually be grateful to her. I decided that even though it hurt like hell that it was best! At least for now maybe someday, somehow things would finally work out with me and chester but I knew this wasn't that time. It hurt but I had to respect it, when I get done with this tour I will take the job offer Jonathon lined up for me and I will leave california for a while to heal. I reached my arms out and gave Chester a hug, i didn't want to let go but I knew I had to. I needed to distance myself from him for the rest of this tour for both of us. It was just too hard to be around one another and just be friends, it was killing both of us. I gave chester a breif kiss on the cheek and made my way to the elevators. I went up to my room and decided I was staying in there until work resumed 2 days from now. All I wanted to do was lay in my giant bed and cry it out. It was done, we made our decision and this is what was best for everyone involved. I still had damage control to do however, I needed to fix things with Jacoby. Relationship or No relationship I was still working with his band and we didn't need to be on bad terms with one another. However that would have to wait for another day, right now I was making me a bubble bath in this larger than life tub and drinking away my emotions.
********** time lapse********
I must have been in the tub for about an hour when I heard a light knock on my door. I didn't even bother moving out of the tub, whomever it was could just wait until later. I was in no mood to talk to anyone. About five minutes later I heard the door open and soft footsteps make their way towards the giant bathroom. Once the footsteps stopped I saw a disgruntled Shaddix peeking his head around the corner.
"Why are you here?" I asked him blankly. "You said you didn't want me running to you again!" I quoted his words from earlier.
" I didn't mean it, I was just pissed!" He spoke sincerely. "I came to check on you actually, I'm worried about you!" He stated.
"I'm fine Jacoby, but thank you!" I replied gratefully.
"Babe you don't look fine!" He stated truthfully. " you look terrible." He added.
"Thanks!" I snapped at him.
"I didn't mean it like that baby!" He replied softly. He started to take his shirt off and then his pants and shoes.
"J please not tonight!" I stated.
He just shook his head side to side nonchalantly. "Scoot up a bit!" He said to me.
I did as he asked and slid myself up a bit. He climed into the tub behind me, wrapping his arms around my center tightly holding me close to him. We sat there like that for a few minutes before He pulled my long hair to the side and left a few gentle kisses on my neck, before he started rubbing my shoulders. He tried to make all the tension and pain leave my body but it was hopeless. We stayed like that in the Jacuzzi tub for about a half hour with him holding me close,trying to comfort me in this difficult time. Once we got out of the tub he wrapped a towel around me and then himself. I went to into my room and threw on some sweats and laid down in my bed with Jacoby not far behind me. I was very surprised by his behavior, I would have thought he would be a total dick to me after blowing him off earlier to speak with chester. However he was the exact opposite, this sweet and caring side of him is one I have never seen before. Instead of trying things like he normally would he laid down in the bed next to me and pulled me close to him once again holding me.

***chesters pov*****
I went back to my room after Roxie walked away from me. I was so fucked up in the head right now it was unreal. I didn't know which way to go in life anymore, i knew what I wanted but I also knew I couldn't have it. Roxie meant the world to me and I still loved her very much but I couldn't bear the thought of hurting Samantha on top of that Roxie had Jacoby in her life now. I couldn't stand the thought of that, but as long as she is happy i will get over it. I can only hope that Shaddix will change his ways and not hurt her. All bullshit aside Shaddix is a good dude, he is just fucked up like me, maybe a little worse in certain ways. He lost the love of his life because of drugs and alcohol mixed with groupies and whores. He couldn't be faithful to save his life, now after loosing his wife he treats women like disposable toys. Maybe Roxie could open his eyes again. I went to the bathroom and ran some cold water over my face trying to calm down. I heard the door open from the other room. I walked back into the bedroom and Samantha was sitting on the edge of our bed.
"Chester we need to talk!" She said as calmly as she could.
"Okay." I replied sitting down next to her. "What is it babe?"
"Who was that girl?" She questioned.
"What girl Sam?" I asked back.
"The girl that you were talking to in the Lobby with Jacoby before he left?" She stated bluntly. " I saw it with my own eyes Chester please don't lie to me!" She pleaded.
"Sam baby It wasn't like that I promise, she is Papa Roach's photographer. She has been touring with us for the past month, her and Jacoby Kinda have a thing going on!" I said more concerned than I meant too.
"Why do you say it like that?" She asked.
"She is an old friend Sam and I just don't want to see her get hurt! You know how Jacoby has been ever since him and kelly seperated." I replied.
"Oh yeah its been pretty tough on him and her honestly!" She stated. "So what is this girls name and why didn't I get to meet her yet?" She asked.
"Her name is Roxie Callahan!" I replied not wanting to lie, hoping sam wouldn't remember that name.
"Chester are you kidding me?" She yelled not meaning to. The same Roxie you were in love with when we met? How could you not tell me this?" She asked hurt in her eyes. Shit I thought here we go.
"Sam I'm sorry, I didn't want you to worry about it. I know how you can get sometimes, you would have made you crazy overthinking things. There is nothing between us anymore baby, I promise I love you." I stated lying a bit.
"Chester whether there is anything there or not you still should have told me. You're right I would have worried because you loved her so much, Now I'm even more worried that you were going to be with her everyday for almost three months and choose not to tell me about it. That worries me more than anything, its like you deliberately kept it a secret from me!" She said hurt.
"Sam I promise its nothing!" I pleaded.
"Chester I can't do this, Im going home we will talk about this when you get home or when I calm down whichever comes first. I don't want to say or do something i will regret so I am going to leave!" She said angry.
"You know I love you but sometimes I can't believe you. I cant believe you would hide something like this from me." She stated bluntly.
"Sam I love you, don't go please!" I begged her. "Just stay for the next couple days!" I said.
"No Chester I love you too but I'm going home." I'll see you later.
With that she grabbed her bag and walked out of the room slamming the door in my face. What the hell have I done i shouted at myself. Not only did I loose one of the women I love, but probably both of them. I need a drink bad i thought to myself and headed down to the bar across the street.