Living My Dream (Book 2)

Afternoon

Roxies Pov
By the time we finally got done with all the editing and enhancements I was dog ass tired. We took my laptop into the living room and Jonathon started to look through everything. He was making sure that all the pictures and videos were good enough to pass an artists standards. He had complimented me on several of my shots. Lacey had done a wonderful job of helping me edit as well. I knew she would she took many of the same classes I did in college. Photography wasn't her major but she enjoyed it. I sat on the couch beside chester while Jon looked through everything. I felt my eyes getting heavy and they kept closing on me. I continued to open then up and keep myself awake for a while longer until I knew everything was good to go for tomorrow. All I needed to do at this point was merge all the photos and videos into a presentation. I knew that wouldn't take me very long, then I could finally close my eyes and get some sleep.

Chester's pov
We had worked all day long trying to help Roxie get this project done. It was about 3pm when we finally sat down in the living room for Jonathan to look through everything. My Girl was exhausted poor thing. Chester what the hell are you thinking, that isn't your girl. You are married dickface and not to Roxie, you are married to samantha. Roxie doesn't even know your married. Fuck shut up I screamed at the voice inside of my own head. I hate when I get like this, it's like theres another one of me inside my own head sometimes even two of me in there. I can sit for hours and argue with myself inside my own head and its harder than hell to get it to stop. It always seems to get worse when I stress about shit, and right now I am overloaded. I shouldn't eveb be here right now, I should be at home with Sam. I don't know how to tell Sam about what happened with Roxie and part of me doesn't even want to. I love her I do, but I also have some serious feelings for Roxie and I know I always will.  I don't want to hurt Samantha and I don't want to hurt Roxie either, God I'm so confused. Being around Roxie is probably not the best idea at this point in time, but i haven't seen her in so long. God I missed her while she was away, even though I was angry I still loved her every single day. I still loved her when I met Samantha, but i knew she was never comming back into my life. I knew I had to let go and try to move on from her and thats what I did when I commited to sam. At least thats what I thought until I saw her again last night. Every memory and every emotion I ever experienced with Roxie came flooding back to me right along with the feelings I had for her. I should try to distance myself from her and get over these feelings, but I can't bring myself to do it. What is she going to think when I tell her I'm married? I thought to myself. Fuck I don't want to loose her again, I dont think I could do it again to be honest. I really need to tell her before its too late, and I really need ro figure out what I'm going to do about sam.
I felt Roxie shift beside me pulling me out of my thoughts. She had her head laid on my shoulder with her eyes barely open. She had been trying to fight sleep so hard for about an hour now. Damn she has been up for well over 24 hours, i thought. Finally she couldn't fight it anymore, her eyes closed and her breathing became light and steady. Jonathon had just said something to her when he looked over and saw her asleep with her head on my shoulder. Shit, i have been trying to keep my distance from her today, so Jonathon didn't know anything was up! I had done pretty good until now, I could probably pass this off okay. I mean friends can fall asleep with their head on another friends shoulder right?
"She's asleep Jon!" I replied to him. Do you need her? I asked hoping I didn't have to wake her.
"No let her sleep" he replied quietly. She did a great job man, fuck I would hire her myself if we were in the market He spoke.
"That good huh?" I asked.
"They are amazing pictures!" He exclaimed. There is also some great live footage of the concert and the meet and greet! I think Shaddix will be stoked when he sees this, He added.
I slowly got up from my spot next to Roxie and laid her head down gently on a pillow Jon threw over to me. I walked into her bedroom and grabbed a throw blaket off of her bed.  I put it over her while she laid there still sound asleep on the couch. I made my way over to Jonathon to look at her work! It really was amazing quality, of course I wouldn't expect anything less from her. Everything about Roxie was amazing, always has been and always will be as far as i was concerned. I looked over at her sleeping figure and a slight smile appeared on my face. At first I didn't even notice and I was hoping Jonathon didn't either.
"So how long will it take her to do her presentation?" I asked Jonathon.
"Usually not to long" he replied, "but it doesn't matter I already did it for her." He spoke again. She needs to get some rest!
"Okay" I said. Thanks for helping her Jon, she has been through a lot and she really does deserve this man! I stated.
"I know" he replied. "People like you and me have a way of knowing these things" He stated. I guess its just kind of like a sixth sense. Why don't we go have a smoke? He asked.
"Sounds great man!" I replied.
Jonathon and I walked out back and sat down on the deck. Lacey really had a nice place, it wasnt huge but it was good sized with a really cozy vibe. She had a big pool out back with a deck and a bunch of tables and chairs.
"You still love her don't you?" Jonathon asked me out of nowhere.
"How can you tell?" I answered his question with a question.
"They way you look at her!" He replied. It's not hard to see man, there is so much love and admiration in your eyes when you look at her. Your body language screams it man.
"Is it that obvious?" I asked.
"Yeah!" He said bluntly.
"Fuck" I replied. What the hell am I going to do man? I asked him.
"You are the only person that can answer that" he replied. Your gonna have to do some soul searching man, figure out what you truly want. But what ever you do, you need to find a way to tell her about Sam! It might break her heart when you tell her, but Your going to loose her if you don't. She has been hurt too many times in life, and if you don't tell her she is going loose trust. There isn't much you can do to come back from that point trust me!
"I don't want to hurt her" I said. I don't want to hurt either of them actually. I love Roxie more than I have ever loved anyone, but Sam has been really really good to me. I love sam don't get me wrong, but i know in my heart that if I had known I would see Roxie again I never would have gotten married.
" I know its hard man, but sooner or later you're going to have to choose!" He stated. "Hopefully it's sooner than later!" There is no easy way at this point Chaz, one way or another someone is gonna get hurt. You are the one that has to live with your decision.
Jonathon got up from his chair and gave me a pat on the back, before walking back in the house. I sat there for a moment and thought about everything he said. Unfortunately i knew he was right about the whole situation. I just wasn't sure on how I was going to handle everything.