The Mudblood

Chapter 86 : Year 4

By the end of Saturday, March 20th, every living and dead soul in the school knew that "George" Weasley and I were a couple, which, of course, provoked Umbridge to make an official decree stating that any student found in a romantic relationship would receive detention. Fred and I attended one detention during which we mocked Umbridge about the repulsiveness of the color pink, the repulsiveness of her toad-like face, and the repulsiveness of the Ministry's utter ignorance and incompetence, all while refusing to touch her cursed quill. She didn't dare give us another detention, mostly for her own mental health.

Malfoy's big lips faded away after a day, and while I'd expected him to berate me severely for using a potion on him, he hadn't said one word to me in two weeks; he hadn't even looked at me in two weeks. Miles Bletchley, however, had many things to say about his Enlarging Potion. He'd been selling it in massive quantities to the Gryffindors, who would enlarge their own lips and taunt Malfoy about it. This only seemed to add to the hostility between us, though I couldn't have cared less about my relationship with Malfoy. I was blissfully smitten with Fred.

"You know," Astoria was saying to me as the Slytherin Six walked from Charms class to the Great Hall for lunch on April 1st, "some girls love what my shampoo did to Snape's hair so much—they've been asking me if they can buy some! People want to buy my product, Lainey—I should just open a business! Just imagine it: Astoria's Awesome..."

"'Astoria's Awesome' what?" Anderson questioned as we descended the moving staircases. "Shampoo? Beauty Products?"

"No, she's gotta stick with the A's," Harper insisted, scratching his chin as he pondered. "Maybe...Amplifications? Or Alterations? Or...or..."

"How about 'Astoria's Atrocities'?" Melody offered, not even glancing up from her book. "Snape would love that."

"No, no," Astoria insisted in her whiny voice. "It's just going to be named 'Astoria's Awesome'. That's it, that's the name."

My brow crinkled as I glanced sideways at her. "You're naming your line of beauty products 'Astoria's Awesome'?"

"I love it!" Ashley enthused, hopping down the steps like a bunny. "Can you add my name too? Like—'Astoria and Ashley are Awesome'? Oh—but then it wouldn't start with all A's because 'are' starts with 'R'... Aw fiddlesticks..."

Before any one of us could process her sheer lack of wit, Anderson chimed in with his feverish opinion.

"Snape's flowy hair was bloody awesome, though. I don't think he's showered since—he's gotta build up the grease again, you know... Maybe I should grow my hair as long as Snape's—it's almost there, just a few more inches... And we've both got black hair, so we could match—"

"I don't think Ginny would like it very much if you started to resemble Snape," I informed him with knowing eyes.

"The Weasley girl?" Harper questioned as his eyebrows creased. "Why would she care?"

Anderson's face froze with guilty paralysis, and I bit my lip as we stepped down into the entrance hall.

"Uh...gotta go into the Great Hall," I announced hastily as I sped up my pace. "There's a big surprise inside, didn't I tell you all?"

"What surprise!" Ashley called after me.

"Surprises are for the dimwitted," were the last words I heard Melody griping before I dashed into the Great Hall. Students were just beginning to file in and take their seats, though the two people I was looking for were already seated at the Gryffindor table.