No Idea

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Holy shit. Another perfect title. Seriously.

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Alex's POV:

My head was pounding. I felt sick to my stomach. No, not today. I couldn't do it. The time we had spent apart wasn't long enough. I ran from my bunk and went to the bathroom, throwing chunks into the toilet.

This wasn't from the attempt. No, I'd had enough time to get that out of my system. This was fear that haunted myself so dearly that it made me sick. I had never been more scared.

We flew straight from the UK to Dallas, where we spent a night and then got on our bus. We were driving to SD right now. And by the looks out the window, we were already there.

I sloppily waddled back to my bunk. That morning upchuck had made my stomach empty, but I didn't want to eat. I was afraid I'd just projectile vomit again. Oh, and the toilet was probably clogged now. What a great way to start a tour. Great job, Rina. Rina. Now that name made me laugh a little. I was glad I humiliated her now.

My curtain thrust open. "Alex! Did you drink that again?" Jack shouted to my face.

"No Jack. I told you, I'd never do that again." I explained. "I'm just sick with fear."

He sat at the bottom of my bunk. "Don't be, okay? I've talked to her a lot recently, and she's just as scared as you are. She won't go out of her way to talk to you. I promise."

"I don't even want to see her." I said. "Jack, I want her out of my life." That was a lie. I needed her back in.

"Stop convincing yourself that it's gonna happen because it never will. And you know that, Alex." He stressed. "You were together for too long, and you have too many mutual friends."

He stood and walked away. My feelings came full circle to feeling alone. Marina was my best friend, my roomate, my soulmate, my love, and my partner. When I lost her, I lost everything.

____________________________________________________

When we arrived at the venue, the guys piled out. The girls weren't even here yet, because they didn't have to until soundcheck. Emily, however, had come early to see Zack. And boy, was she getting big.

Zack ran out to see her. "Em! Stop running! You have a little person inside of you!"

Jack started laughing. "Aw, gross! Emily, you pedo!"

"That's not what I meant." Zack said over Emily's shoulder.

"I've missed you so much!" She kissed him, the gasped. "It's kicking! Can you feel it?"

"Yes!" He kissed her again.

Jack and Rian commenced to hug her and ask what's up. I stood awkwardly by the bus, not sure if Emily would welcome me with open arms. I mean, she did know what happened.

"Where's Alex?" She asked all the guys, looking up at them. She wasn't very short, but she was shorter than the guys.

"He's over here." Jack looked back at me. "Alex, come say hi!"

Emily left them and walked to hug me. I smiled. I was glad she wasn't upset with me.

"Alex! I've missed you, buddy." She began, then lowered her voice. "And I know what happened."

I felt my entire body go numb. "What?"

"But don't worry, it's only me. Marina and the other girls don't know."

Thank god. "I was honestly worried that you were mad at me. You and the girls."

"We're not. I mean, this is between you and her. None of us are getting involved, guys or girls." She explained.

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