eighteen | jjk | book 1 [✓]

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please do not steal my writing :) the following event and important dialogue are all from my thoughts and own way on how to describe  mental and physical abuse

warning : heavy topic

kwon rina
monotone

"no messages, why am i not surprised?" i sighed, curling up on the bench. a huge pang was felt inside my heart. it was something that i should have gotten used to by now but a huge part of me still wanted to feel the love i felt from him in the beginning.

the wind blew softly, spring was now in motion. i watched the bird walking down the pathway in a scurry. a voice cleared their throat. i looked up, meeting eyes with jungkook, "what are you doing here?"

       "i go to school here like you and all our friends," he sat himself down next to me. he placed a hand on his tie, loosening it up a bit. his jacket was crinkled from jimin throwing it around to tease the younger one. he looked tired and bothered by something.

       i leaned back on the bench, "oh yeah."

       a small ping went off on my phone. i could watch jungkook watching me closely, "why do you have all these bandaids on you?"

       a small scowl was on his face, he looked annoyed or maybe bothered. i rolled my eyes at him, "you know how clumsy i am."

       "no, i don't know since you and i always fight," jungkook muttered under his breath.

       i nodded my head, "sorry."

       he looked surprise shaking his head. i watched with amusement as he snapped his fingers in front of me. i shrugged my shoulders, "what?

         "are you sick? why are you saying sorry?" jungkook leaned back, feeling a little weirded out by what i said. he cocked his eyebrow, leaning in again.

        i laughed, feeling hysterical, "i don't know its been my habit, sorry." after all the events that builded up i couldn't stop laughing. he pushed my shoulder lightly, i balanced myself out on the bench, trying hard not to fall.

       "why are you crying?" jungkook softly asked. i could feel the tears rolling down my face. i quickly wiped them away i felt embarrassed. covering my face with the sleeves of my jacket i looked away from him.

i felt hands on my arms, jungkook slowly placed my arms back down. he placed his thumb on my chin, lifting it up, "i know what's happening but i won't do or say anything till you want me too."

       the atmosphere was low and moody. it seemed as if the whole world had just wanted me to speak, the wind stopped blowing while the birds stayed put, "i don't think i can do this anymore."

       i looked up at the sky, silently thinking back to the fight between my friends and the argument with jinyoung. a laugh left my mouth, tears still falling down my face. i tried to avoid jungkook gaze, i knew i wasn't the best crier like the girls in dramas, "i have a monster under my bed that i'm afraid of." jungkook stayed silent, nodding his head slowly to show me that he was listening.

       "the monster hurts me time to time and leaves me alone wondering why. then the monster comes back all of a sudden when i'm sleeping. even though it leaves scars and marks on me i don't want to take the monster out from under my bed. i let it lurk there and i let it hold me even when i don't want to be held. what do i do with the monster under my bed jeon jungkook?" i asked him, feeling frustrated by myself.

       jungkook looked at me with sincere eyes, "take the monster out from under your bed, forever, you don't need it. you can have better things under your bed, the monster doesn't deserve to be under your bed."

       i let out a shaky breath, "i can't let it out, if i let it out nothing will ever come back under my bed, not even the good things cause the monster already left its mark under my bed. being under there is no longer worth it. no one wants to be under that bed anymore."

       he paused and looked at my bandaids on my arm, "the monster under your bed may strip away everything from you but you never lose your value. even if that monster leaves it's mark under your bed others with who care will still want to go under your bed. marked or not, your bed is still priceless and should be loved."

       jungkook handed me a handkerchief. it was dark blue with initials saying jjk, "thanks but is that bed really worth it? do you think it's worth it? truly?"

       "the bed is worth it to a lot of people, you just don't realize it. i think that the bed is worth and deserves to be loved. you can take out the monster from under your bed if you let people help," i nodded my head, trying to think about what jungkook said seriously.

       another ping went off from my phone that was buried deep in my pocket. i grabbed my phone out, checking to see two new messages from taehyung, come to the art room now.

       i stood up, "thanks for the talk about it, i have to think about whether or not i really want to take the monster out."

       i turned around about to take a step away from the bench. but a hand stopped me as it grabbed onto my wrist, "i need to tell you something about shiro and taehyung, please stay."

       his words peeked my interest as i remembered how taehyung always avoided speaking to her. how she came to his house to grab that file folder with yongsun, the picture in jungkook's house, and the relationship between all three of them made me curious.

        he let go of my hand as I turned around to face him again. i sat myself down on the bench again, ignoring the messages from taehyung, "okay, tell me."

::::

authors note:

(read if you want a clear explanation on what the monster under the bed stands for)

what does the monster under the bed stand for?
— if you can't tell, the monster under the bed is a metaphorical description of taehyung

what does it mean to be under the bed?
— being under the bed stand for being in rina's heart which is why rina said "[..] nothing will ever come back under my bed, not even the good things cause the monster already left its mark under my bed." it means that taehyung already left his mark and she won't be able to recover from it.

why did she decide to tell jungkook?
— rina is the type of person that heavily depends on close friends and family. so as her fall out between those important figures take a strain, she starts to feel it. as jungkook talks with her, something switches in her.