eighteen | jjk | book 1 [✓]

44

lately i've been super insecure with my writing. i don't know why. i just feel like i'm not giving you guys an exemplary story :')

( NOT EDITED )

kwon rina
five months later

       five months and a season has finally ceased away. it's been five months since i've last encountered her and him. gone are the long days and dramatic past few months. everything was starting to fall in place with an occasional few pieces sticking out. well, that's how i felt.

       the sky was a nice shade of blue and white mixed together from the whisky clouds. the salty breeze brushed my hair back from my shoulders. the warm sand surrounding my feet felt nice and cozy.

       a smile was on my face as i watched jungkook happily run into the ocean waters, "isn't it cold?"

       he shook his head, "come on, it releases all the tension from finals."

       his laugh was loud and firm, his hair pushed back from him constantly pushing it. i allowed myself to walk closer to the waters. my feet pressed deeper into the oncoming waves. the rough sand below tingled my senses.

       "ouch," i bent down to grab the white seashell that was under my foot. i felt his presence approach me. his feet just a few inches in front of mine.

       i grabbed the seashell from underneath, "isn't this one nice?"

       i stood up hastily from my squat, forgetting about his presence in front of me for a second. my speech was paused as i made eye contact with him. i watched as he subtly looked down at my lips before looking up again.

       "i found a few over there," he pointed towards the left side which was a little bit deeper, "are you going to keep them."

       "yes, definitely."

— — —

       jungkook crinkled his eyes, placing a large piece of meat in his mouth. i hummed softly, watch the horizon. the sun was starting to set, pink and orange hues covered the once blue sky.

      i looked away, taking a big spoon of rice into my mouth. my left hands held onto the small clear jar filled with shells. it was an array of shells in different sizes. my favorite one was the one at the top of the pile.

       the shell had a small light crack in the middle. it almost looked like it was going to break but it wasn't breaking at all. it was white but not super clean and pearly white. it was old and slightly broken, but it still looked beautiful.

the loud clatters coming from the kitchen filled the silent gap between the two of us. soft whispering coming from the news reporter on tv, the laughing, and the happy people around us made me feel tingly. it felt nice to be surrounded by happy people.

       jungkook coughed, bringing my attention back to him."i never thought you would actually invite me out to hang out with you," he chuckled, "are you sick or something?"

       i cringed at his words. he seemed to notice my discomfort and apologized quickly, "that was a terrible choice of words, wasn't it?"

       i nodded, "yeah, it was," i let out an awkward laugh and stopped, "i wanted to tell you something."

       he continued to eat his food. picking at the meat and other side dishes in front of him. his bangs fell in front of his forehead while the back of his hair had small pieces sticking out, "shoot."

       "i'm moving."

       he glanced at me, "okay, and? you can still visit everyone even if you move to the countryside."

        i chuckled softly at his clueless words. jungkook placed his chopstick down, looking at me with curiosity. i looked down, knowing that i couldn't meet his eyes without feeling that pounding of my heart inside.

       "i'm moving to america."

it was silent between us after my words left my mouth. he was intensely staring at the shells in the jar. i couldn't tell what he was thinking; his expression was emotionless while his fingers drummed against the brown table.

       "can i ask why?" he looked deeply hurt when his eyes made contact with mine. his only close friend for the past few months dropped a bomb on him and it seemed as if he didn't know how to feel about that.

       i felt sorry inside and the loud pounding from my heart was so loud. all the romantic tension that had built up the past few months were starting to disappear from a few words.

       "you know why," i paused, "i can't stay here anymore."

       "if it's about that person, things will get better."

        "no, it's not that. i just can't stand being here anymore, we're all so dysfunctional right now and i can't stand that. being at that damn school surrounded by grief and drama, I can't handle that. seeing taehyung, it hurts a lot."

also being around you hurts now. but nothing in my mind felt the need to jump head front into a new relationship. after taehyung i felt— more insecure. i couldn't find myself able to trust someone. but, jungkook, he felt different and i don't like that.

jungkook nodded his head slowly, "the whole family?"

just thinking about jinyoung and minhyung moving with me made me laugh inside. jinyoung, i couldn't find myself to have a serious conversation with him after finding out about dasom and after the argument we had in his room.

"no, just me," i grinned, feeling slightly sorry but excited, "i'm going to study abroad for a while."

"oh."

there was a pregnant pause between our conversation. it's felt as if the weight of his mood was resting upon my shoulders. it was heavy and suffocating. a clear laughter broke the silence, i lifted my head up.

his head was slightly tilted back, his laughter was loud. it echoed through the restaurant as people glanced at him and shook their heads. he hit his thigh with his hand, trying to silence himself. jungkook calmly retrieved himself from his state of laughter.

his shoulders that were once shaking stopped. he paused before beginning, "well, there's no point in mopping around, right? let's just have fun for the next few days or week till you leave. when do you leave?"

"four days from now."

he gave his infamous grin, the one that showed his pearly white teeth, "four days are enough."