Forever & Always // Daniel Seavey

Broken Inside // C21

"Home is wherever you leave everything you love and question if it will be the same when you return" - Unknown

Amberle's POV:

The plane ride felt weird, maybe I was a coward for running away from my family but at this point I didn't really care. Once I arrived in Paris, I had to take a series of "employees only" hallways to avoid paparazzi. Don't worry, I got permission from the airport manager but I got stopped a few times by employees who didn't get the scoop. Eventually, I was escorted to a car outside the west exit.

The driver brought me to another hotel where I decided to sleep...
- - -
It's been a few days and I've been dreading going back to set. I know I said it was urgent to see Stan but to be honest, I was scared. I was scared of leaving my room and facing the dangers of the public so I've been in my hotel room, sleeping and ordering room service. Unfortunately, I can only sleep during the day because if I sleep at night...I wake up with nightmares about what happened when I was a hostage. I also ignored my phone knowing there would be lots of messages from practically everyone on it so I let the battery die and I've refused to recharge it. Nevertheless, I felt like today was the day to see Stan...weirdly, I found myself with strength after I took a five hour nap. It's been too long and I need to face the world so I called a taxi.

The driver brought me to set and once again, we had to pull up to the back entrance to avoid being seen. I stepped out of the car, paid the driver, and went on my way to find Stan. None of them knew I was on my way here and I didn't call them within the past few days so my presence would be a total surprise. It was about 7 pm here and the lack of sleep was starting to catch up to me.

"No way" Shawn mumbled as his coffee hit the floor. He ran up to me and hugged me before he quickly pulled away. I realize that I didn't reciprocate his hug, was that a sign of PTSD?

"Hi" I mumbled starting to feel lonely again.

"Oh my gosh, Amberle! Are you okay?" he asked placing his hands on my shoulders.

No, Shawn, I'm not okay...I just left the people I love and went through severe trauma but am I going to tell you that? Hahahahaha, I think not.

"Yes, I'm just tired" I stated as he hugged me again.

"I was so worried about you" he mumbled into my ear, not breaking our hug.

This hug was longer than expected but it was fine because I was held captive for about three weeks so maybe he's feeling relieved. Strangely, I didn't reciprocate his hug again...my arms just hung limp at my side. Upon realization of this, I reached my right arm up and gave him a pat on the back. My emotions were all over the place and I had no time to show compassion.

"I'm sorry for what you went through, I should never have of left that room" he stated looking into my eyes.

"It's not your fault, you couldn't have known" I mumbled getting anxious to find Stan.

"But that's not the point, I left the girl I love-" he stated before he stopped in his tracks and my eyes went wide. I completely forgot about his feelings for me these past few weeks.

"I...um" I started but I couldn't seem to manifest another word.

He took a deep breath, "this is crappy timing but here goes nothing, I love you Amberle" he stated as if he expected me to say it back.

I sighed as my jaw dropped, I honestly didn't want to deal with this right now. Why did he have to spring this on me when my emotions could never be more fried!? UGH! I'm just so sick of everyone and everything right now! I just want to go to sleep or maybe curl up into a ball and cry. I took a deep breath and wondered to what extent am I not okay? I looked back at Shawn realizing he was waiting for an answer.