Love Bites

The Battle Begins

Sharkboy's POV

As my fam and I soar above the Land of Pain, I think of our journey thus far. I think about the sleepless nights I have spent, the asshole detective whose name I shall never speak, our daring escape from the mightest of prison fortresses, meeting the magnificent Shrek, finding Jesus, and the sexual tension of it all. We truly have had the most wonderful couples therapy vacation, in the history of couples therapy vacations.

I look down at the ill-famed Land of Pain, and I see now how it got its name. There are thousands of Lego pieces spread across the barren fields of this dystopian land. The only thing that you would be able to experience here is pain, and pain alone. This reminds me of my dark and foreboding past, when a sharknado or something destroyed my-

"SHARKBOY! Stop being all intense, you're not in a movie," says Max with that intense look on his face. Hypocrite. 

"Well actually I prefer fanfictions," I respond, "especially ExtremeFandomFeels' ones. They provide high-quality content and memes for everyone. I really appreciate all the wonderful work that they've done. Even though it takes them 27 years to update, I still cry tears of joy every time. I wonder what they'll write about nex-holy shit, did I just become self-aware?"

"Let's try not to think about that right now, we've got bigger issues," says Linus.

"Yeah, like the fact that we might need to beat the shit out of Ivanka Trump to rescue Lavagirl," adds Max, "What's the plan again Sharkboy?"

"We jump off Beyonce and onto Trump Tower's roof. Then, we use my superb lockpicking skills to break into the ventilation system. From there we make our way into the surveillance room and check the cameras for where Ivanka is holding Lavagirl..."

"Yadayadayada, we find her, she buys us lunch for the rest of time. Cool beans. Why are you explaining this again?"

"BECAUSE YOU ASKED!"

"Heh, sorry."

I'm about to push him off onto the roof myself when suddenly, Beyonce lets out a huge shriek as she swoops us down towards Ivanka's headquarters. The tower is......tinier than I originally thought. 

"Ok ok ok, let's do this my little lion flowers," I say while pumping my fist into the air. 

"What the hell are lion flowers and what do they contribute to this mission?"

"Max, please. When we go out there and storm that place, remember that you must put in the passion for this rescue."

"How does that answer my question?!"

"I don't know it sounded cool in my head so I said it. Now, off you go!" I shout with a charming smile as I push him off Beyonce and onto Trump Tower. Guess I did follow through on my instincts after all.

Max's POV

That little bitch is going to get it one day.

Sharkboy's POV

Seconds after Max lands, Linus and I majestically leap off onto the tower to join him.

"Christ Sharkboy, did we even need to jump? Was that really needed? We could have had Beyonce just come a little closer," Max says like a 2nd grader who just lost their fidget spinner.

"That was epic and you know it. Speaking of Beyonce though..."

I give Beyonce the signal to come over, and she lands with a large thud.

"You've been an amazing ride but, it's time for us to part ways," I say, trying to not show weakness in front of this epic creature.

"You were the best blessing Jesus could ever have given us Beyonce," says Linus, smiling.

"You were pretty badass. Stay gay, Gaydon," Max says, trying to stop himself from shedding a tear.

I slap Beyonce's wing and she soars off into the skies. I wonder where she'll end up. Probably somewhere gay. I stop myself from daydreaming and lead Max and Linus to the roof's small vent opening. As expected, an extremely sophisticated high tech lock is the only barrier between us, and Lavagirl's freedom.

Darn Ivanka and her rich people money. I punch the vent open with my bare fist and using all of the raw strength I hold deep inside, it busts right open. Like I said, superb lockpicking skills. I crawl into the small opening, with Max and Linus right behind me. Infiltration, complete.