Love Bites

The Somewhat Epic Conclusion

Six Months Later

Max's POV

Today is to officially be the second weirdest day of my life because here I am, ready to marry my ex-husband Linus. Never thought that I would end up here. Maybe in one of my nightmares, but in a strange sort of way it has morphed into one of my biggest dreams. 

You see about two months after Linus, Sharkboy, Lavagirl, and I had come back to our hometown of Fairydreambuttland and found Lavagirl's cat Mr. Oceanass working as the newest owner of the local strip club(don't ask), Linus and I had gotten re-engaged. Ever since then, it's been a huge whirlwind of crazy events as Sharkboy took it upon himself to plan out the entire wedding as he claimed it was his responsibility to, "make his ship canon", or so to speak. It's kind of been hell, but honestly, any sort of hell is worth it if I can make Linus happy at our wedding. 

Wow, never thought I would ever think that after what happened, but you know what? I may be a cynical, sarcastic, and kind of assholey person, but I'll never forget how much Linus does actually care for me, and that's what really counts the most. Now it's time to sit back and wait until I get the signal to wal-oh shit, I think my inner monologue made me miss my cue. Well, I knew something was bound to get fucked up. Time to start running. 

Lavagirl's POV

"OH MY GOD WHERE THE HELL IS MAX!!!!!!!!??? I AM FREAKING OUT!!!" screams Sharkboy directly into my ear.

"Dude, calm the fuck down. He probably was just doing some crazy self-growth monologue in his mind and missed his cue," I say as I stroke my cat Mr. Oceanass. My precious baby deserves all the cuddles after the hell he's been through. Dude did make bank running a strip club though. One week's profit alone was enough to pay for this entire expensive ass wedding. Plus, there are some pretty hot girls there so that's a bonus. 

"BUT THIS WEDDING MUST SUCCEED! HAVE YOU SEEN THE GUEST LIST!? Shrek and Barry literally invited some of the most iconic memes to come as guests, and John Barrowman invited the ENTIRE POPULATION OF GAYLAND! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF WE SCREW UP THIS BEAUTIFUL GAY WEDDING?! I'LL BE DEEMED A FAILURE!!!" Sharkboy weeps. 

I gently put down Mr. Oceanass, turn to face Sharkboy, and give him a big ol' slap on the face. It surprisingly works, as he immediately stops crying and turns his focus towards me. Sometimes all you need is a little bitch slap. I grab hold of both his shoulders and shake them frantically. 

"Everything is going to be finnnneeeeeeee. You've spared no expense on this cheesy as fuck wedding, and have spent literal dozens of hours making a portfolio dedicated to each part of this event, spanning from the ceremony itself, to how many fancy forks should be served during the appetizer segment of the reception. Trust me, no small step back is going to ruin all of your hard work. I mean come on, you and your weird ass couple's therapy sessions are the only reason Linus and Max have gotten back together in the first place. So just relax, it will be all ok," I say with a proud smirk on my face. 

I see Sharkboy take some deep breaths, and slowly start to calm down. Nailed it one again Lavagirl. He looks back up at me with a grateful smile.

"Lavagirl, you know how much our relationship means to me right?" he asks. 

"Duh. I'm not an idiot. You can barely hold it together without me," I respond. 

"Well, I just want to say thanks for being there for me. I freaked out so much when you went missing, and I was so worried I'd never get to see you again. Now I know you probably don't see any romantic attraction between-"

"Yeah sorry, bro I don't. Hate to break it to you but not every boy-girl relationship has to be romantic in nature, but you are like my best friend dude," I say back to him.