Love Bites

Final Boss Battle

Sharkboy's POV

Rage is the only emotion I feel as I relentlessly drown Ivanka's groupies to form a pathway towards her. Well...rage and sweet, sweet satisfaction. Ivanka has been the source of nothing but pain towards me and my fam, and I shall see to it that I get vengeance. VENGEANCE I SAY!!! I see Ivanka struggling to find an escape route, and looks to be getting quite desperate. She has even restored to relentlessly digging a ditch into the legos beneath her, but it isn't too long until she gives up as the pain on her knees proves to be too great for her weak self. Her eyes grow wide as she sees us approaching. 

"Ivanka! It is time for you to answer for your crimes against me, Max, Linus, and especially Lavagirl! I mean, come on dude. You literally kidnapped her and dragged her all the way over here," I say as I walk slowly towards her with my arms widely spread out into the air.

"Also, I never did find out where exactly you put my cat Mr. Oceanass. Your answer was too vague for my liking. I want exact coordinates you monster!" Lavagirl screams at her. 

"Well, I DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE GIVING YOU ANY AT THE MOMENT!" Ivanka screams back at us, "You people have been nothing but dicks to me this entire time. Sure, I may have assaulted Linus, caused a dramatic divorce, and kidnapped Lavagirl, but that doesn't mean anything I've done has been all that bad."

"Did she just hear a single word she just said?" Max asks me while giving Ivanka some major side-eye.

"I don't think she ever really does," I whisper back at him. 

As we all close in on Ivanka, we form a circle around her to barricade her away from any means of escape. She tries knocking me out of the way, but I'm too fast and easily push her back to the ground. She yelps as she hits the floor, and looks up at Linus. 

"Linus, my love, this is your last chance to be with me. Come with-"

"Yeah no," Linus quickly answers back. Ivanka's face then turns from pleading, to absolutely enraged. 

"Well then, guess it's time for me to unleash my final form. Ladies and gentlemen, I think it's time you meet, DINO TRUMP!"

Ivanka's body suddenly swells up and knocks all of us back as she rises, and is transformed into...

"WHAT THE FUCK?! DID IVANKA JUST TURN INTO SOME CHEAP BOWSER KNOCKOFF?!" Lavagirl yells while looking up at Ivanka's hideous new form.

Ivanka's once human body has been replaced with what looks like the build of Bowser, with all that remains of her original self being her head, overdone makeup and all. It's the single most disturbing image that has ever been laid before me, and I saw a LOT of things during Linus, Max, and I's journey here. 

"How can she even do that?!" Max screams. 

"Who the hell knows?! All that matters is that she looks like she wants to crush us all to death!" Lavagirl responds. Ivanka cackles, thunder echoing the sounds of her demonic laughter. 

"Well, if you really must know. I once made a deal with some lower class demon, I tried reaching Satan but I was told he was busy dealing with more "worthy" patrons, that would allow me to transform into a beast after seeing how awful my family was doing after my father lost the presidency to the Land of Pain. Cause I thought, fuck it, I want to be able to turn into a dinosaur."

"Yeah, and you wonder why we think you're insane," I say while giving her a disapproving nod. 

That must have pissed of Ivanka, as she grabs me with one of her giant claw hands, forcing me to drop my triple axle double kill water gun. She then grabs my other side and begins to slowly pull my arms apart. It's...not a pleasant feeling.

"Oh no you don't!" Lavagirl screams as she bursts out lava onto Ivanka's claws, forcing her to let go of me. 

Max and Linus rush over towards her and start aggressively punching and kicking her legs as hard as they can while yelling war cries. However, Ivanka just laughs and kicks them aside. I hear both of them groan after being buried beneath another pile of legos. You know what? That is it! No one hurts my beautiful children like that and gets away with it!

I begin to crawl towards my triple axle double kill water gun but am unable to reach it as whatever is left of Ivanka's fans surround it to block me off. But suddenly Shrek and Barry appear and start warding them off, driving them away. 

"You have to get her Sharkboy! Who knows what she'll do in that new form of hers," Shrek says to me as he lassos them into the ever-growing pile of Ivanka's fans. I nod back at him when a stroke of genius suddenly hits me. 

"Lavagirl! Can you melt lava around her feet?! I think I know how to get her!" 

"On it!" she yells back at me, before proceeding to do exactly as instructed, forming large heaps of lava around Ivanka's gigantic feet. 

"Jesus! It's time to make it rain" I yell at him. He understands exactly what I mean, as large clouds start to gather around Ivanka, and pour tons of rain on her, hardening the lava around her feet. This keeps her from being able to move any further, and successfully trapping her. Wow, Jesus literally can do anything.

I see that Beyonce is near me, and I rush towards her, leaping onto her back, and kicking her in her sides with my feet to get her flying up into the air. We swoop down and grab my triple axle double kill water gun. However, it's been broken into three separate pieces, and there is no way I'll be able to fire it on my own. That's when I see that Max and Linus have managed to get back up and are...LE GASP! HOLDING HANDS????!!!!! Ok ok, now is not the time to get distracted. 

I fly Beyonce over, and yell at them too, "GET ON!!! I need your guy's help! We can end this together!"

"We've come this far already, it would be a shame not to survive today," Linus responds as he pulls both he and Max onto Beyonce. 

"Plus, this adventure has been a giant waste of time for all of us anyways, and I don't want this to amount towards nothing," Max says with a smirk. I smile back as I toss them the other two pieces of my triple axle double kill water gun. I then have Beyonce fly high above into the air, directly over Ivanka.

Lavagirl and Jesus have managed to also restrain Ivanka's hands within the hardened lava, leaving her completely defenseless sprawled out onto her back. That's when the three of us combine all of our pieces to make my weapon whole again, and Beyonce flies full speed down towards Ivanka. I line up my triple axle double kill water gun to match the center of her chest with a little help from both Linus and Max, fire. It's a direct hit.