Idol ~ Min Yoongi

XXXXI: Mr. Kim!

Makseun P.o.V

It's the 8th of February and I had just finished a photoshoot for Puma when the tweets came storming in, when the texts flooded my phone and the phones calls attacked my ears.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god." My hands ran through my hair and my stomach aches with anxiety as my heart pounded painfully in my chest. "Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?"

My noona nods, not taking her eyes from her phone as she typed furiously. "Yes, I don't know how long it was up. It's down now, but everyone is tweeting about it."

My throat goes tight and I feel my breathing becoming erratic as panic consumes me. "Shit. Shit, shit shit." I crouch down in the middle of the room, hands pulling my hair roughly. Breathe, Makseun, breathe. "Wh-What are AURA saying?"

She bit her lip. "Well, a lot of them are confused, some think it's the company, others are saying its stress marks. But... There's a new trending hashtag... Number one trending hashtag..."

I groan aloud, a soft sob erupting from my chest as I full onto my bum, leaning on the wall.

"It's 'LoveYourselfMakseun' and 'LoveMyselfMakseun' I think... I think they think it was an accidental release of a new part of BTS's campaign." She says slowly, worry creeping at her voice.

I feel myself going light headed as the hyperventilation caused me to be lacking oxygen. "W-What is th-their campaign?" I say breathlessly, trying to soothe my nerves as my brain goes into overdrive.

"An anti-violence campaign to help teenagers and young people live without fear of violence and make the world a safer place basically." She mutters, eyes not moving from her phone. 

My fingers tangle in my hair and pull fiercely, tears of pain springing into my eyes. "H-How many p-people have seen it..?" My voice sounded strained and my entire body shook as the anxiety attack I was trying to fight off broke down my barriers and crashed down on me with more force than I was prepared for. My brain feels fuzzy and my arms and legs feel numb. My head span and images swim through my brain, horrendous thought bombard me as I try to settle my nerves which had been so easily fried.

"I don't know, Makseun! But its become number one on trending in half an hour, so I'm guessing a lot." She said bluntly, not bothering to try and sugar coat this for me, despite knowing everything and being able to see the state I'm in.

"Oh my god, oh my god." I sob, unable to contain the sobs that churned in my stomach. I couldn't stop myself. I completely break down. I worked myself up so much, my nose ran, spittle played at the corner of my lips as tears streaked down my face. I brought my knees in to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, shielding my face from view. 

I was sweating, my throat hurt and my head was banging by the time anyone next tried to touch me. A cold, rough hand touched my shoulder and I flinched away from the touch. No sound was registering to me. All I heard was the painfully soft whining of white noise and the deep rumble of a male voice beside me. I couldn't move to look up at him as all my muscles had seized up from how much I'd tensed, giving me a painful cramp down my spine.

The hand slowly touched me again and I flinch away, making him say something lowly to me. I... I know that voice...

~~~ FLASHBACK ~~~

"Alright, see you tomorrow." Jimin called, smiling happily at me as he waved me off at the crossroads we split at.

"Goodbye, hyung." I call back with a forced smile. I wait at the corner for a few minutes, watching him go as suppressed anxiety crept up from my stomach. I hate it when he goes... but I sure as hell love watching him leave. I chuckle quietly to myself as I turn and walk away from him, heading to my own dreary home. My dreaded home. My smile fades as I think about what awaits me when I return to the confines of that hell hole. Hopefully he's out. Hopefully he'll go out and drink himself to death.