Butterfly | JJK

42

I was released at the hospital a few hours after my awakening. Although I did have to take rest and go easy on myself for a couple days. I was packed in school work, but winter break was coming up.

Jungkook and I said our goodbyes in the hospital, the guys also said goodbyes to me as well. I brought home all of the get well soon presents.

"Are you alright, honey?" My Eomma looked at me with a nervous smile, I looked at her with a nod. She helped me into the car door while I was immediately crowded by my extended family along with Sejun.

They threw me questions about my health left and right, but I assured them all that I was okay. I walked myself up the stairs and led myself to my bedroom, I felt extremely tired.

As I was going to change out of my clothes, I couldn't help but stare at all my bruises. Varieties of them were scattered around me, I was worried some of them might stay on me forever. A sigh left my lips.

Just looking at my body was graphic. It was awful to see myself in this state. My silence was crushed by the sound of my phone ringing.

Jungkook- Are you alright? You need any extra hands?

I chuckled at his worry for me, I assured him I was alright. I didn't want him going through a hassle just to see me.

Although questions passed my mind, what did they do to me when I was passed out? Was I sexually assaulted? Anxiety flowed throughout my body and mind as I continued to think. I had no power to stop myself, it was too hard to stop being curious.

I sighed, tossing to a different side of my body to face my window. My body ached just by moving, they must have really let out their anger out on me.

Did I deserve what happened to me? I've been so cruel in the past. It may be my karma. Was it meant to happen? My own thinking was haunting me.

At least they are in jail, I wondered how I would handle with the thought of abuse that I went through my whole life. I can't fully process it now, how could I process it in the future?

I did need Jungkook by me, he always knew the right things to say. But I didn't want him to go through a hassle to give me attention over my stupid thoughts.

A soft knock pattered on my door while I slightly turned my head to see who would enter.

A gentle smile was wiped on my Eomma's face as she opened my door. I tried to smile back but it was hard, I can't smile over what just happened to me.

"You know, there were security cameras in the area where the crime was happening. Are you curious as to what happened to you?" My Eomma asked, she was sensitive as to what she was saying. I knew she didn't want me to get hurt.

"How did you know?" Was she psychic? Did she know what I was thinking?

"Well, you were unconscious. Would you like to do go to the police station?" She tilted her head slightly while she softly ran her hand on my hair. I nodded, I was curious as to what they did to me. I need to know to get at least an idea of closure.

"I'd like to go alone, please." My words made her slightly shocked, I knew she would expect me to be dependant. But I would be embarrassed for other people seeing what happened to me. They would treat me much more differently as they are now.

"Alright, we'll go tomorrow whenever you want." She placed a kiss on my forehead while standing up, "You should get some sleep."

I agreed with what she said, she softly hugged me before leaving my room. As I heard the door click close I felt tears slowly creeping out my eyes and landing by my cheeks.

As I know I would want the support from others, I had no courage to do so. I'm not one to be very needy toward somebody unless it's needed. I find it too clingy if I do so.

I was restless, I knew I was tired but something was haunting me. The cruel faces of the two men and Minji, how they humiliated me, throwing insults from every direction as they constantly abused me. Their voices echoed in my head and I couldn't make it stop.

'Jungkook doesn't deserve you, useless trash.'
'You're stupid to think that you're wanted and loved by anyone you little brat.'
'We're doing you a favour by doing this, only unwanted people deserve this. You happen to be one of them.'

Minji's insults about Jungkook and I's relationship are what hurt me the most. Something in me forced myself to think if I was really worth it to him. I questioned myself if I was good enough, not one good reason of myself gave me hope to stay with him.

I had a horrible past, I also have bits and pieces of my attitude before I met Jungkook whispered about me wherever I went in school. He doesn't deserve that. I love him to much to express how I feel, he'd eventually think I was right.

Although it was a big possibility that his affection from me would slowly drift away. That's how most relationships work, they blind themselves by their love that they don't realize the huge differences that they had all along.

High school is ending quite soon, eventually we would have to move away. Time is the biggest enemy as of now. A ticking time bomb just anticipating for what could happen.

Would we still be together?