Feeling myself become light headed and dizzy, I knew I was going to pass out so I took deep breaths and exhaled slowly, trying to calm my stress. It was a technique that my old doctor taught me. He used to say the more stressful I get, the easier I’ll black out so whenever I feel myself going to that place I should just take deep breaths and empty my mind.
Empty my mind. I repeated in my head as I took several more deep breaths. I felt myself slowly regain my balance and I knew that I was doing it right. A few minutes passed while I kept trying to calm my stress, I was afraid of losing my balance and fainting if I got up too fast before I calm my stress enough.
Hearing the front door open, I knew that Waliyha and Aaroosa had come home and in a few minutes they were going to come inside my room to check on me so I had to look normal, like nothing happened. The last thing I want was for them to know that I almost fainted alone in the house and worry them for nothing.
“Maggie, we are home.” I heard Aaroosa yell from outside, making my head bound. Why did she have to tell me so loud for? I’m not deaf.
Staying on my bed for 5 minutes, I finally found some strength in me to get up and get that glass of water and an aspirin for my headache.
Walking to the kitchen, I saw Waliyha, Aaroosa and Bella setting on the couch talking and eating, making a mess around them. I cringed when I saw the sight of chips bags on the floor next to them and scrambled bits falling on my clean couch but I was too tired to scowl anyone at the moment so I just ignored them and headed to the kitchen.
“Maggie!!!” Bella yelled when she saw me, increasing my headache which was finally bearable.
Ignoring Bella’s existence, I filled myself a glass of room temperature water and looked for the aspirin in the drawers. Where did Aaroosa put those pills?
Feeling someone behind me, I turned and saw Waliyha enter the kitchen, “Hey, are you alright?” she said in a low voice, which I was thankful for.
I nodded, “Yeah, I just have a headache. Do you know where the aspirins are?” I kept searching for those damn aspirins.
“Yeah,” She opened the cabin and got out the pills, “Here you go. Are you sure you are okay though?”
“Yeah, just tired. I think I’ll take another nap.” I weakly smiled reassuring her and she nodded then left me.
After taking the pill, I went back to my room and let my body fall on the bed. I was just warn out even though, technically I did nothing today but I was just tired and my head was about to explode. I think the aspirin didn’t kick in yet.
Just as I was about to sleep, I heard my phone buzz on the night stand notifying me of a new message.
Checking my phone, I saw that Zayn had texted me. It wasn’t an unusual thing, he always texted me but I felt sad when I saw his name on my screen. I couldn’t even get myself to open the message so I just put my phone in silent mood and went back to sleep, non-interrupted sleep.
***
After what seemed like hours, I finally woke up from my nap. Stretching my body on my bed I looked at my alarm clock and noticed that I had been sleeping for 14 hours. That’s a long nap, well sleep.
Yawning, I lazily got out of bed and dragged my still very tired but awake body to the bathroom where I peed, brushed my teeth and made wudo’ then got out of the bathroom and entered my room where I prayed the prayers I missed while sleeping.
When I was done with all of the usual routine, I felt my stomach growl in hunger as I just realized I hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday’s breakfast and it was almost 8 AM. Going to the kitchen, I opened the fridge and noticed we only have some leftover chicken and pasta salad.
Putting a few scoops of the pasta salad with 2 chicken pieces in my plate, I took a seat on the kitchen island not wanting to go sit with the girls. I was just not in the mood and I wanted some alone time. I took small nips of my chicken piece and a spoon full of the pasta when the words I read earlier echoed in my head.
‘Maggie is too ugly and fat. I bet Zayn is suffering from just looking at her’
Looking at my food, I sighed and got out of my seat then put my plate back in the fridge. I was still hungry but I need to make changes. I am fat and ugly.
Going back to my room, I wanted to distract myself with anything away from food. It was hard considering I was alone as Waliyha and Aaroosa were in UNI and I was avoiding my phone as well because I knew once I had it in my hand I would check Zayn’s message.
It was not like I didn’t want to read it, I really did want to read it and just hear about his day and he was doing but maybe I was feeling self pity or something, I didn’t even know. It was like if I read it and saw how oblivious he was to the way I was right now I would just break in and cry again. I know it wasn’t his fault that he was oblivious to my current state but it still made me sad and a bit broken inside.
I hate how weak I feel right now, how a small message that probably would have made me the happiest girl in the world if I got it yesterday, makes me fear it because a jealous girl behind her stupid little screen said some hurtful words about me which I wouldn’t have even heard about it if it wasn’t for Nadia.
Deciding that finishing up my delayed school work from my days off would be a good distraction, I sat on my chair and opened up the worksheets that Waliyha had piled up on my desk and just pored myself in them.
I was never one of those people who were good in studying and I usually take more time studying than a normal student would in the theoretical subject but I was good with numbers.
Taking my time in my work, I didn’t feel time pass and when I finally decided I had enough and my headache started to bother me too much. I got up from my chair to stretch my body a little and walked around the apartment for a bit that’s when I realized how late it was in the day, it was almost midday and in an hour or less the girls would be here not that I was in the mood for socializing or anything.
Going back to my room, I laid on my bed and out of habit I grabbed my phone, unlocked it then checked my messages. I had over 15 messages! All from Zayn.
Oh my god, what have I done? I just opened the messages and Zayn’s messages were just in front of me, teasing me… No mocking me, mocking my weakness. I hate myself for this.
But why shouldn’t I read it? He did send 15 messages for me after all, but what if I cry too much and blackout alone?
Debating on whether or not I should read Zayn’s message, I felt my phone buzz in my hand. Looking at the caller ID, I creased my eyebrows surprised on the name on my screen.
Why was he calling me?
****
A/N
This is about 5 hours too late and probably the most boring filler in the world but I couldn’t do without it, sorryz babez :( , the next one has more Zayn, Promise.
I’ll update again in probably over 12 hours, but PLEASE don’t forget to VOTE AND COMMENT please?
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Starting Over (Islamic Fiction, Z.M)
FanfictionMaggie Saeed, a girl of mixed races had always struggled to find her own personality and her own voice. Coming from two different religions, two different cultures, two different families and two very different personalities; it was hard for her to...
