Levi x Reader | Adorable Together

Chapter 39

"(Y/n)? What are you doing there?" Levi asked with a crackly voice. He must've just woken up, seeing his half-lidded eyes. He slowly walked towards her , crouching down to meet her eyes. He wore a worried yet tired expression on his face when he noticed that she was crying. She didn't answer, trying her best to hold back her tears.

Levi sat next to her, embracing her in the most calming manner as he could. He rubbed her forearm lightly, keeping her in his gentle touch. "i can't take it anymore—" she whispered, letting all her tears flow at once. She breathed heavily , gripping on Levi's shirt.

"What's wrong..?" He asked. It took her a while to answer.

"I dreamt — no , it was real. it was all real. it all replayed in my mind— how they took my parents away from me — my dad's blood — the gunshots —" she had a lump in her throat, causing her to pause and sob. her eyes were swollen , and she felt suffocated, she was in desperate need for air. Levi had nothing to say. He didn't know what to say. All he could do was hold her in his arms.

They stayed like that for awhile. Although it never did put (y/n) back to sleep, she felt a little less agitated. They were very quiet. It was expected for (y/n) to have these kinds of days. It's just that this was one of the first where Levi was there with her. With tear stained cheeks, (y/n) locked her eyes with Levi's , seeing him struggling to stay awake. Honestly, she felt bad for burdening him. Though , at the same time , she was glad he was here with her.

She slightly shook Levi awake, telling him to go back to bed. He rubbed his eyes, gave out a couple of grunts. Standing up, he held (Y/n)'s hands, and buried his head on the crook of her neck. This gesture alone made (y/n)'s heart throb. Knowing she didn't have to deal with these problems alone made her feel more calm. She closed her eyes , trying not to overwhelm herself and start crying again, she transferred that energy by embracing Levi tightly.

"i love you." levi mumbled. and as if that didn't make (y/n) feel more overwhelmed, she broke down into tears.

"i love you too." she whispered. they parted and levi wiped away the remaining tears that were falling on his juliet's face. because she was the heroine in his tale. and not all heroes had the perfect lives.

———
They both sat on the edge of the bed, taking in everything that's happened. They both looked so broken. Their eyes stared blankly at the air , enveloped in the cold wind. Quiet. Dry lips, tear stained cheeks. Empty eyes, tears threatening to fall. They were vulnerable. They looked so easy to destroy.

"you know, farlan and isabel would've liked you so much." levi spoke. he looked up , making the first tear fall. for the past years, it's always been (y/n) who let her sorrow out in front of levi. knowing he had his own pains , she had a pang of guilt in her heart. she's weak, she thought. levi pushed through everything. his friends — no, they were his family. it must have been terrifying to play different scenes in his mind , on how they died. each and everyone much more terrifying than the other. he never got to say goodbye. never got to show how much they meant to him.

never got to attend their own funeral.

not even their own grave.

"you and isabel would have been the best of friends. she's fucking crazy. sometimes annoying, but in a good way." (y/n) hummed , a small smile on her face. she listened intently at levi , pouring his heart out. "farlan— he would have been a great brother figure. Or you could have chosen him over me in a split second. I don't really know."

"and to tell you the truth — i feel like shit. every fucking day i can't help but to feel this guilt and regret. i feel like shit for not turning up at their funeral — because i didn't want to believe they were gone. it's been this long — and i still don't have the guts to face their grave and face the truth. i'm scared. i'm so fucking scared. how do you do it? how can you smile after everything that's happened to you? how can you have that much sense of humanity inside you?" levi cried. years of bottling those emotions inside him was suffocating. he let everything out. he cried , he shouted , he gripped the sheets without having to worry about whatever anyone would think of him. that no one had to think of him as a monster — a disgusting being. because that's how he saw himself.

"i'm alive because of you." she whispered. instinctively, levi's heart skipped a beat. a breath escaped his lips, and that's when he knew, how much she loved him. and that was the truth. without levi , she wouldn't have a sense of purpose. days before she met levi — her thoughts haunted her. death was calling. but that was when jean had called her — and that was when she decided she'll hold on for just a little longer. she held on to that edge — and grabbed his hand— because she couldn't bear to leave him alone. and she didn't want to die just yet.

there it was again. the silence. they comforted each other with their sense of presence. althought it didn't take all the burden and weight from their shoulders , they managed to keep it balanced. just so that one didn't have to struggle more than the other.

with a sigh, levi asked her if she wanted to go by the beach. he doesn't think she'd want to go back to sleep after what she relived. she nodded, and they both left their hotel room at 2:59 in the morning.

it was chilly. very chilly. no one was around, and the waves were at high tide, nearer to the shore. it was exceptionally dark. there weren't any stars shining, and the moon was nowhere to be found. it was just a plain black sky. it was comforting, hearing the waves go to and fro, the crickets filling in the silence, and the wind joining in, to creat a harmonious melody.

after walking along the beach, hand in hand , they eventually grew tired and sat on the soft sand. neither of them said anything. they were just there. together.

"i don't mind whatever you did in the past. or whatever you regret... your history is what made you who you are. and i happen to be in love with who you are." she spoke. she couldn't be the only one who recieved all the love and comfort. levi needed those too. just because hers may have been much more traumatising, that doesn't mean levi didn't deserve any love. she wanted him to know that she was there for him too, and she wasn't going to leave him. and that she loves him for who he is, regardless of his regrets.

"i could say the same for you." levi replied, not looking at her in the eyes. "so, don't leave me."

"where would i go?"

"where they all are."