BY DEMARCO'S STANDARDS (Part 5)

It Is What It Is

What can I say, just another failed attempt at a relationship. I'm beginning to think I'd be better off alone for real. First Sam's death sent my world reeling and I swore I'd never love again. Then that bitch just pop's up out of nowhere. I should've known better. Before I even met her she's was pulling her bullshit on me by trying to record me duiring my criminal activities. That should have been enough warning but no, I just had to break my rules and have more.

I tried to fight my feelings and was doing well then here she comes again putting her neck on the line trying to hunt down Jone's and I don't know why but I felt responsible for her. But what really made me face my feelings was seeing her hurt from the stab. Instantly my body went into panic mode as I thought I was going to loose another person I cared about. That's when I finally woke up and realized life was too short to fight my feelings. I could be happy again and I wanted to be happy again and at the moment Ivy was my happiness.

So yea maybe I overreacted by keeping tight reins on her but I only did it because of my own fears. I couldn't risk something bad happening to her. I failed Sam and I refuse to fail her. I'm man enough to admit my mistakes but not forgive her for running off like she did. True once again I should've known better. A strong, independent woman like Ivy can't be held down or told what to do. However that doesn't excuse the fact that she pulled a cowardly stunt and disappeared. Then again she did yell it me several time's that I can't continue to keep her locked away and me being me would ignore her needs and simply say just watch me.

I guess it hurt more than anything to know she didn't care for me as I cared for her. If Ivy cared as much as she claimed she did she'd still be here. Worst part is there's nothing I can do about it. Well I could but if I fly my ass over there to drag her back I'd bring on a unwanted war and that's something I can't do. It wouldn't be fair to my family, my men, or the business to start a war due to my love life.

Which reminds me. I still feel like a sack of shit for attacking my mother in such a manner. True I sent her flowers, bought her favorite chocolates, bought her some earnings trying to mend my wrong and for the most part she has accepted my apology but I can sense she's still upset. I don't blame her though, I should've known my mom would never screw with my love life. However Pape and I are still on the outs. He's talked to me but I don't have much to say to him. He had no right helping Ivy escape and I can feel the tension growing tighter between us.

Like right now, I'm at the Den having a drink before I call it a night and I see the bastard waiting on a food order to take home to mom. I know he sees me but is trying to avoid another argument so he keeps his distant. Well fuck that, I've had a couple of shots and I want to argue. Sliding from my stool I skipped over to him in anticipation for what was to come. "You got anything to say for yourself yet?" I snarled.

He gave me his dark, warning glare. "Demarco you've had a bit much to drink and it be wise for you to head on home".

After he said that he turned around shutting me out. My temper flared and my impulses took over. Without thinking I gave him a hard shove in the back. "You mean go home to my lonely apartment? You just couldn't stand to see me happy could you? It thrilled you to send her away didn't it?' I yelled bringing attention to us.

Jabbing his finger into my chest he growled. "I suggest you hold your temper and take your ass home".

I swatted his finger off me and spat. "Fuck you".

Like a bolt of lightening he twisted my arm behind my back and took off walking briskly. He kicked the gym doors open and shoved me into the directions of the mats. "You want a piece of me son?" He asked while pulling his shirt off.

This was nothing new to me. This happened a lot duiring my training day's but this time Pape was pissed but fuck it, nothing but tears in a bucket. I slung my shirt off as well and beckoned him to come at me. "Fuck yea I do. Your going to get fucked up this time. I'm not no teen boy anymore old man".

Pape laughed and came at me. I thought he was coming in for a jab so I blocked but he fooled me and swept my legs. I bounced back to my feet in a nano second. "You got me there fucker but it won't happen again". I puffed and swung out at him. He caught my fist and spun me around placing me in a choke hold. As I grasped for air and tried to work free he laughed. "Not bad for a old man huh?"

I managed to flip him over my shoulder but the bastard landed on his feet and sent a elbow into my jaw. I retaliated by smashing my fist into his chin but he counteracted by a series of low rib jabs and finished by slamming me down. Still I got up. "That all you got?" I growled.

No sooner than the word's left my mouth my head whipped back as he sacked another punch to my nose. This time I charged him and sent him down on his back but he used his legs to kick me off and reverse the hold. My face was pressed into the mat as his knee jammed into my spine with my arm's stretched out behind me. Leaning down to my ear he hissed. "This is over now. Had I not helped her she would have managed to escape out onto these street's where she would have been put in more danger. Remember when your mother wanted to escape she always managed to. Ivy is no different. You haven't the ball's to handle a woman like your mother. Now get the fuck up and act like a man and stop all your whining bullshit".

As he released me I smacked the mat in frustration. Pape extended a hand to me and after a bit of prideful hesitation I allowed him to help me up. I was surprised when he didn't release my hand but instead pulled me in for a hug. "I love you son and no matter what you think I didn't do this to hurt you".

Before I could reply my mom busted in the doors looking frantic. "Why haven't either of you answered your fucking phone's. I've been blowing them up and what the fuck is going on here London? You better not have hurt him or I will hurt the both of you".

Pape went to speak but mom's voice overrode his. "It doesn't matter. Have either of you seen or heard from Miri?"

We both shook her head as I said. "No. What's up?"

Mom suddenly went pale. "Her nanny brought little Cole by a few minutes ago. She said Miri left out last night and hasn't heard from her. That's been almost twenty-four hour's now. Miri would never leave him that long without leaving word with one of us".

Pape and I looked at each other and said at the same time. "Cole".

With our heart's pounding we took off to Miri's apartment with mom on our heels. I knew Cole wasn't taking his meds but I didn't think he'd harm Miri but you never know. Not bothering to knock we barged in and found Cole lying in the living room floor tossing a rubber ball in the air. It was just a small child's ball that had cartoon characters on it. "The fucks my sister at?" I snapped.

Without looking our way he continued to toss the ball and say. "Fuck if I've seen her. I figured she was hiding from me at one of your apartments. She's been spending the night's there anyways".

"You telling me you haven't seen her".

"Yea I am".

"No one has seen her since last night. The nanny said she went out and never returned". I informed him.

A strange silence filled the room as Cole held the ball still in his hands now. Suddenly he squeezed the ball until it popped and jumped up. "The fuck you telling me". He yelled then flipped a table.

My mom tried to speak. "Calm down so we can think".

"I'm the calmest morherfucker you've ever seen". He screamed and stalked off to his home office. Once in there he opened a cabinet that held a aresonal of weapons. "Demarco get busy tracking her. I've got a track on her phone as well as her pocketbook, necklace and try her braclett as well."

As I got busy searching, we watched as Cole packed a bad full of guns, amo, knives, grenades and a pack of twizzlers.

"Dude what's the twizzlers for?" I asked confused.

"For Miri when I find her and I will find her." He stated then eyed us and added. "Y'all can just bring the popcorn and enjoy the show. I want be needing any help". He added while testing the sharpness of his blade against his thumb.