Carnival Heart

Chapter Three- " i'm kind of an outsider "

    The day was gloomy it looked like it was going to rain, and for some reason I always get up way too early on rainy days.
    The sky was gray, you couldn't see the sun only clouds.
    Why do rainy days always change people's moods to make them sad, but for some reason i'm never sad when it rains i'm always happy same when is sunny.
    I walked out to the kitchen and made myself a tea, I didn't make one for Cole because we didn't talk for the rest of the night and my parents were still out so they couldn't force us to talk.
    I walked past him as he walked into the kitchen.
    " are you seriously not going to talk to me " he said, I stopped in the doorway.
    " why would I talk to you, i'll wait till you realize i'm right " I said continuing to the couch.
    " come on, i'm sorry, what else can I say, I do care about you, but I just don't believe that Grace could do something like that " he said.
    " well she does everyday " I said.
    " we should pick up Judy soon " I sighed changing the topic.
    " fine " he said picking up his bag.

    We pulled up to Judy's house, she hopped in the back of the car and we made our way to school, not saying anything.
" ok did someone die back there? " Judy asked as we walked into the school.
" no we just got in a stupid fight because I told him the truth about Grace and how she acts " I explained.
" i'm guessing he didn't take it so well " she said as we approached our lockers.
" nope, not one bit " I gave a fake smiled.
Once we got our stuff we turned around to see Grace and Sofia walk past us without saying anything.
" well that's new " Judy said as they stopped and turned back to us.
" oh you thought we forgot you " Grace smirked.
" no not at all " Judy smiled.
" so I hear you don't hate me " Grace smiled looking right at me.
" no I don't, but for some reason you hate me and Judy, it just doesn't make sense " I said.
She took a step closer to me, " your brother cares more for me, because I will always be there not you " she said before her and Sofia walked away.
" ok then " I said.
" should we get to class? " Judy asked.
" yeah that sounds like a good idea " I said.
As we walked down the hallway we passed, Chance, Justin, Cole and Brendon, Grace and Sofia approached, Grace smirked at me as my brother wrapped his arm around her a smiled.
We walked into the class, we sat down in our seats.
" so do you want to come over to record the track tonight? " Judy asked.
" sure, i'll just have to do something after school first " I smiled.
Someday after school I go to the music room to sing a couple of songs to myself, I usually go after my brother and I have a big fight, like last night.
I pulled out my art book once again since I finished all my homework last night.
The door opened as the bell rang and a rush of kids flooded the door like a hurricane taking over a city or a town.
I looked up and saw Chance walk in and walk over to the seat beside mine, once the teacher sat down and opened his phone everyone started to talk.
" wait what beat are you making now? " I asked.
" a remix for Let You Down and Him and I " Judy said.
" that sounds really cool " I smiled.
" maybe you can sing on this one too " she smiled.
" only if the first one goes over well " I said.

It was the end of english class, I was packing up my things. Judy and I walked out of the classroom, we walked slowly behind Brendon as he went to his next class and we went to ours.
We walked into the change room to change for gym class, which we sadly had with Sofia and Grace.
" is it bad I want it to be english class again? " I asked.
" no, I mean I love english class to but, ohhhhh " she said
" you were talking about, ohhh " she said.
" yeah, but english is one of my favorite classes not just because of him " I said. as I put on my shirt.
We walked out from the change room and into the gym. We sat down on the bench well most of the other girl sat around talking in their own little gossip circles.
The gym teacher walked into the classroom and told us we were playing dodgeball today. Grace made eye contact with me and gave me a small yet creepy grin.
We all stood up as the teacher put us into groups, luckily Judy and I were on the same team, but Grace and Sofia were on the other team.
The whistle sounded and everyone ran to the middle to grab a ball, they started to fly everywhere as people from my team and the other team started to get out.
Grace kept aming for Judy and I. She finally got us out, but still kept throwing the balls in the area we were sitting.
The class was over and we went back into the change room to change.
" ok i'm starting to hate gym class " Judy sighed.
" i'm with you there " I smiled as I packed up my stuff.
We walked out of the change room and went over to our lockers when I hear footsteps approach.
" good game " Sofia smiled.
" where's Grace? " Judy asked.
" still changing, but good game really, I didn't think Grace should have thrown that hard " she smiled.
" thanks, but why are you being so nice? " I asked.
" well- " she was cut off my her name being called from down the hallway.
" i'll see you both tomorrow " she smiled before walking away.
" that was weird " I looked over at Judy.
" maybe she's turning a new leaf? " Judy shrugged.
" maybe " I looked over at her as she walked away.

The end bell rang, I walked down the hallway and down to the music room. I knew it would be empty because it always is. No one ever really goes in there after school.
I sat down at the piano and started to play the chords to let you down.
I started to hum the song, the sing.
" feels like we're on the edge right now, wish that could say i'm proud, i'm sorry that I let you down, let you down, all these voices in my head get loud, I wish that I could shut them out, i'm sorry that I let you down, I let you down " I fished the song.
" that was good " I turned around to see Brendon standing in the doorway.
" were you there the whole time? " I asked.
" no just near the end, but that was really good why aren't you in vocal? " he asked.
" I don't know, if you couldn't tell i'm kind of an outsider " I said.
He looked down at the floor and laughed, " aren't we all " he looked up at me and smiled, I almost melted.
" yeah I guess " I said.
" dude come on " Chance walked into the room.
" oh hey " he waved.
" hi " I smiled.
" where are you guys going? " I asked.
" football tryouts, maybe stop by and watch sometime after you leave " Brendon smiled.
" maybe, but you both should get going " I smiled.
" yeah we should " Chance said before grabbing Brendons wrist and pulling him out of the music room.
I turned around after I made sure they were gone.
" that just happened " I screeched.
I picked up my bag and walked out of the school, the tryouts were finished by the time I left.
I had to walk to Judy's house so we could record the track. It still looked like it was going to rain and I had a long walk to go, so I really hope that I wouldn't get rained on.
As I was walking a car pulled up beside me.
" need a ride? " I looked to see Justin.
" no i'm ok " I smiled.
" come on, it's going to rain " he said.
" i'm ok, i'm going to Judy's house anyway " I explained.
" that's a far walk so just hop in " he said.
" fine " I sighed as I got into the car.
We were halfway there and we still hadn't said a word to each other.
" why are you trying to be my friend again? " I asked.
" what do you mean? " he asked.
" you left me...... and Judy, why are you trying to become... our friends again? " I asked.
" it just hit me this summer, everyone was so busy with everything and I started to miss just chilling with you, I realized I made a big mistake and I wanted to fix it " he explained.
" don't you think it's a little late for that? " I asked.
" i'm still going to try, yes we weren't friends for a long time, but I feel bad that I just left " he said as we pulled into the driveway.
" I feel bad that you left too, because your never going to be able to get back those years you missed  " I said getting out of the car and walking up to the front door.
It opened right as I was about to knock.
" did Justin just give you a ride here? " she asked.
" yeah, it's stupid he's trying to be my friend again " I said as I walked into the house.
" well that's a little weird " she said.
" I know, but you know what's weirder, I stopped by the music room after school before coming here and Brendon stopped and listened to me singing and he said he liked it, but then Chance came and ruined the moment " I sighed.
" that's great, but can we record the track first then talk about your encounters with Brendon? " she asked.
" of course " I smiled as we headed to her basement.
We went into her small recording room that she made with a bunch of blankets and pillows.
" ok you can start singing wherever " she smiled.
I started to sing.

Once I finished singing we put the track together.
" this is amazing " I smiled.
" I know, I can't wait for everyone to hear you sing " she smiled.
" you promised that you wouldn't say it was me " I said.
" you know that I use a fake name for my account anyway, I don't need people knowing it's me, so yes your name will not be said " she smiled.
" can I upload it? " she asked.
" why not " I smiled.
She it the upload button.
" here we go " I said as it went public.