Carnival Heart

Chapter Thirty- " she can not blame me "

It was back to school time once again, I found it weird how out of the whole school year we have a first day of school five times.
I put on my shoes and stood up from the couch, I grabbed my jacket and slung my bag over my shoulder.
" key's! " Cole yelled as he walked out from the hallway.
" got'em! " I yelled as we ran out the door for school.
Whenever we go back to school after Christmas break we always seem to be in a rush.
I walked into the school and went to my locker when Justin walked up to me.
" hey " he said.
" hi " I said.
" I just wanted to come over and say I am so sorry about new year, I was drunk and you were never supposed to find that out, in that way at least " he said.
" it's fine " I said.
" no it's not I was- ".
" Justin, it's fine you were a stupid 13 year old, you've grown up and have learned from your mistakes " I said.
" is it really fine? " he asked.
" yes, but if you hurt Sofia in the same way, your dead " I said.
" got it, so f..friends? " he asked.
" yes friends " I smiled.
It was weird saying that out loud, I mean I haven't fully forgiven him for everything, but it happened two years ago, he's grown up and better have changed.
Brendon walked up to us and gave Justin the death stare.
" Brendon " I said.
He looked down at me and I gave him that one look when it's telling him to calm down.
" see you in science " Justin smiled and walked away, I nodded.
" what was that? " Brendon asked.
" I forgave him " I said.
" why? He hurt you " he said.
" I know that, but he was stupid and 13, he realized what he did wrong, I haven't fully forgiven him, but he doesn't need to know that " I said.
Brendon took a deep breath.
" your aloud to still be mad at him, but i'm not " I said.
" fine, but if he does anything like that again, he's dead " Brendon said.
" that's the exact thing I said about if he hurts Sofia " I smiled.
" then we can kill him together " he said.
" come on " I laughed hitting him in the arm.
The bell rang, " time for class " I smiled and gave Brendon a kiss on the cheek before walking into msip.
I sat down beside Chance.
" your late today " he said.
" I know, after christmas break it's always a rush, maybe you could tell with Cole, he's worse than me " I said.
" oh yeah I could tell, he was sweating a lot, Grace wouldn't even kiss him " he said and I started to laugh.
" any updates on you and Judy? " he asked.
" nope, she's still not talking to me " I said.
" there there " he smiled patting my shoulder.
" thanks " I rolled my eyes.
" but there is something else that I didn't tell you about " I said.
" what? " he asked.
" on new years eve, umm.. Brendon and I said.... we loved each other " I smiled.
" and i'm just hearing about this now " Chance said.
" yes " I said.
" well i'm happy for you two " he said.
" thanks? " I said.
" what, I am " he nodded.
" ok " I said.
" what? " he asked, he could tell I wanted to say something else.
" just the way you said it, didn't seem like it " I said.
" stop reading in to every little thing " he said.
" I can't help it, I worry to much " I said.
" well try and stop, it's weird and will one day most likely get you in trouble " he said.
" ok i'm stopping " I said putting my hands up in surrender.
" now this is why we're friends " he smiled.
" yes it is " I smiled rolling my eyes.
Something was off with Chance and I couldn't tell what, i've had this feeling ever since new years, something was just different about him, maybe new clothes or hair style, I just couldn't pinpoint it.
" so have you come up with any new songs yet? " Chance asked.
" well not really, but i'm going to the music room to write a song later " I smiled.
" good another original, what do you think the back round is going to sound like? " he asked.
" I think i'm going to keep it piano and make Judy add some clapping and stings to it " I smiled.
" can't wait to hear it " he smiled.

I sat down beside Sofia in science class.
" I really don't want to be here right now " Sofia said.
" I don't either, but it's school... so " I shrugged.
" welcome back to class, today we are making some new seating arrangement some people are staying in the same spots, but some are moving and we are also starting on our final project ".
Luckily I didn't have to move seats neither did Chance and Justin so they were still in front of me.
" ok and Judy and Sofia and switch spots ".
Great, just great.
Judy sat down beside me, I looked over and gave her a small smile.
" now I will project the groups for the project on the board ".
Justin and Chance turned around to look at us.
" looks like us four are in a group " Justin smiled.
" great " I smiled.
" this project will have to do with a unit we have learned over the whole year ".
" so get working ".
I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote all our names on it.
" so what unit are going to pick? " Justin asked.
" we could do the unit we just finished since it's fresh in our minds " Judy suggested.
" good idea, that would make the most sense " Chance said.
" we could hangout at my house tonight " Justin suggested.
" I can't tonight " I said.
" hanging out with Brendon? " Judy mumbled.
I looked over at her, " no Judy, i'm not hangout with Brendon, I have to work tonight " I glared.
" ok " Justin mumbled.
" i'm good for tomorrow " I said.
" sounds good " Chance said.
Science went by so slow I just wanted to get to art class.

After art class I basically ran out of the classroom, I just wanted to get to the music room.
" hey! " I turned my head to see Chance.
" hey " I sighed.
" so science is going to be fun " he said.
" I don't know why she's mad at me for dating Brendon, yes she likes me, but it was her choice to tell me and her choice to stop being my friend and I had no say in it " I said.
" she mad because you didn't fight to stay her friend " he said.
" that can't be it " I said.
" i've talked to her Beth, in her eyes you looked totally fine leaving her behind, you became friends with Grace and Sofia right away " he said.
We stopped in front of the music room.
" you have to be kidding me, she doesn't even know the full story and even if I tried to tell her she would just walk away " I said.
" I told her the story, but you still haven't tried to be her friend again " he said.
" no, okay, she was the one who said she can't stand to be my friend well liking me, so she can not blame me for any of this!..... I can't deal with this right now " I said walking into the music room leaving Chance behind in the hallway.
I pulled out my song book and started to write.
Once I had the song written I started to create the cords.
" the match lights, the car slows, the dark nights that you spend alone, the lights switch and the car goes and you realize how painful it is to be alone " I sang.
I had the beat set now I just needed Judy to add her touch to it.
I picked up my phone and went to our messages, I held my thumb over keyboard, I turned off my phone and put it in my bag.
It's my song and I like it the way it is, and it doesn't need any of Judy's touch.