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호기심
ROUND AND ROUND the clothes would spin, while June's fingertips softly flipped through the pages of a magazine she had been reading, her actions becoming a contrast to Taehyung, who would tilt his head way too often, watching as the clothes inside the washing machines tossed and twisted in a mess, as if they were imitating the motion of his exact thoughts.
It was another saturday afternoon, both him and June were patiently waiting for their clothes to be washed thoroughly. They were alone in the laundry room, sitting peacefully and enjoying the silence crawling in between the two of them.
June's view was attached to the pretty faces and slim bodies printed on the papers, her eyes scrutinizing the words diet and beautiful with hope to find more ways to become a better version of herself. The vanity suddenly became a new part of her own being, a consequence with whom she had yet to deal with.
''Imagine this'', said Taehyung after breaking the silence, his head softly tilted to the right. ''You're offered two things, but you can only choose one of them.''
''Okay.'' Said June, turning her head away from the magazine to look him in the eyes. ''Shoot.''
''The first thing being the ability to accept yourself.'' He started, ''Once you do that, you'll love yourself and you'll have no doubts in no matter what you do but, you'll end up alone eventually. Or, do you choose the second thing, in which everyone you care about is happy and they will stay with you till the very end but you'll remain unhappy, with both your life and yourself.''
June was taken by surprise, her pupils widened and her lips parted with the desire to say something but her voice got cut off. As if the ability to speak was suddenly stolen by an invisible thief.
''I-I don't know.'' She stuttered, still in shock by the unexpected question as the palms of her hands slowly started to sweat. ''I'd choose the second thing.''
It's true that June wanted everyone in her life to be happy, especially the people she cared about so deeply. But if other people's happiness was the thing she truly cared about, why was she so focused on the girl whose hand tightly held Jimin's? She was the thing that was making Jimin happy.
So why was the jealousy overpowering both June's heart and mind?
If she cared even a little bit for Jimin and his happiness, she would let him go.
However, is letting him go the right thing to do? Is there even something so inexplicable as the right thing? Did she know?
Or did Taehyung know?
Though Taehyung only smiled at her, as if predicting the answer that left her lips. ''I thought you were going to say that. I guess being alone is by far the scariest thing to happen to a person.''
He sighed deeply, rubbing his knees before his low voice spoke again, this time more sternly. ''It's true that the human being seeks for company and socializing, but I think that everyone would move to the first thing, because at the end of the day, ego is probably the most darkest part of ourselves, whether we admit that or not.''
While listening to his words, June clenched her fists, the nails digging deep into the palms of her hands.
She was doing it again, thinking that this whole time her actions were right when in fact they were the exact opposite. The ego was tearing her apart, like a wild animal that hasn't eaten for days.
Closure. That was all she wanted.
Her ego needed to know more about the girl whose name kept repeating itself in the back of her head. Jimin must've had some kind of photos of her placed around his apartment. There has to be memories of the couple spending time together. Maybe, just maybe, her mind will give her some rest then.
And if she finds out that he was happy with the things as they are now, she will let him go.
