June

21. Silence

침묵

PAIN WAS THE FIRST THING June felt that morning, after a minute of trying to open her groggy eyelids. A soft buzzing made an appearance inside her ears – it wasn't deafening, but it was loud enough to annoy the sweet life out of her. As if glued in place, her body couldn't even move a muscle. Completely sore and still a little lightheaded from last night, June barely pushed herself up, sleep hanging onto her tightly.

With a pale hand covering her whole face, she let out a deep sigh. Half asleep and mentally cursing, she forbid herself to even get near the smell of alcohol ever again.

Expecting to roll onto an empty and cold space on the left side of her bed, June was startled when a warm, soft body was in its place. Her eyes snapped open, the adrenaline from the new found bed buddy fully waking her up.

''Morning friend.''

With her heart dropping, June let out a small scream, covering her body with the sheets around her – even though she was fully dressed, still wearing the clothes from last night. ''Taeyhung! What are you doing here?''

''Here to take care of ya.'' A warm, rectangular smile formed his lips.

June, still frozen in her midst of turning in the bed, took in all the aspects of the state she was in. Her clothes were still on her, but her shoes were neatly set aside, along with her phone and jacket resting at the edge of the bed.

''How did I get here?'' She asked, setting her sight on the ceiling as if trying to comprehend what happened last night. She wasn't that drunk now was she?

''Did you pick me up?''

''You really don't remember?''

When the girl answered with a confused look, Taehyung's lips parted, almost as if ready to say something but he doesn't; something was holding him back.

Shifting against the sheets, he then sat up, bringing the knees to his chest. After a minute or two, his lips parted again, this time, a few sentences leaving his mouth. ''You came back on your own I guess. Then you called me, saying that you're sad because you didn't get a chance to go to Disneyland.''

Carefully sitting up from her place, she tried not to make any sudden movements, but what June seemed to worry about the most was Taehyung hearing her heart that was beating so fast in embarrassment, she could almost feel it in her fingertips.

''I'm so sorry for causing all this mess. I really didn't mean to bother you, especially not when it was so late.''

''It's okay, I wasn't sleeping or anything.'' The boy smiled sarcastically. ''But I forgive you.''

His voice was soft, sincere. The words referring not only to the current situation, but for the time the circumstances didn't let the two of them cross paths at the town's bridge.

''Thank you.'' Her head sunk a little, heart heavy but she still managed to give a smile back before her eyes abandoned him.

Dropping her feet onto the carpeted floor, June managed to get off the bed without stumbling to her own feet. With her mind still clouded, she tried to remember what she had done not even twelve hours ago.

Her mind did picture Namjoon, Hoseok too and those soju shots.

Way too many soju shots.

Jimin and Boyung were there as well, and she remembers having a conversation with the couple, but can't seem to grip onto the words shared between the three of them, everything still stuck in a blur.

All she could remember vividly was the feeling of cold and next thing she knew was the world running around in circles before everything faded to complete darkness.

''June?'' Taehyung now stood up, smile fading and eyes travelling to meet with hers, with the hope that this time they won't abandon him. ''Would you like some tea maybe?''

Having her feet glued to the floor, the vibrations in his deep voice almost tingled within her body as June shook her head. ''No, thank you. I don't think I can stomach it right now. Maybe later.''

There was a second of silence, a second that seemed to last for an hour. Whenever Taehyung wanted to talk about something as cheerful as a simple joke, or a funny encounter he had the other day, he would always bite his bottom lip repeatedly or play with the hem of his sweater sleeves.

But now, the boy doesn't seem to blink and June knows that whatever was about to leave his lips was far away from being a small joke.

He knew her well, maybe even too well that it took a single move, a word said by her, to make him notice that something was different, that she was avoiding him. To put it in more simple words; he was worried.

''You're different.'' He inhaled deeply. ''Is something wrong?''

''No.'' She brushed him off, neglecting the fact that their conversations became weird, more distant. ''Everything's fine.''

''Are you sure? Because I can sense-''

''Taehyung.'' June cut him off with her shaky voice as she made a couple steps back, inhaling the heavy air filled with tension. ''It's okay. I can do things on my own, I can take care of myself.''

But the boy, as if unable to understand her language, takes a step forward, his tall frame almost shadowing over her. ''I know you can, but I want to help you. You're an adult that sometimes needs adult supervision."

He smiled, but she didn't.

''I know, but it's just that you've been helping me for so long. You're always with me; you're a part of me and I'm afraid that once things are different, once you are gone, I'll lose myself too.''

Puzzled, Taehyung stared at her. His throat was clenching and his brain unable to comprehense the sudden words. ''What do you mean?''

''I just need some time.'' Like the sun in november, her smile hid behind the winter walls. ''I need some time to be alone.''

He doesn't say anything, doesn't feel the need to because his words wouldn't change her mind, not anymore. So when he nodded his head, softly biting his inner cheek, he turned around, leaving June in silence that was louder than the late night fireworks on fourth of july.

. . .

a/n: i'm sorry if this was a little sad, but everything will be explained so don't you worry! i hope you guys managed to rest well during holidays. also, where are you guys from? ♡