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비탄
ANXIETY. Such a funny feeling, isn't it? The way it only took a few seconds for your body to be filled with pure dread, along with your mind seeing the walls literally closing in on you. Isn't it so ironical that every time you'd think you're doing okay, that you're alright, the anxiety would soon come back again, its viciousness grabbing onto you like a pair of hands clasping against your mouth, making it impossible for your lungs to breathe in the air. And that all, was because of no reason known to you or mankind.
Was that anxiety June was feeling?
Or was she just overwhelmed by everything that happened recently?
She couldn't shake off the thought of her needing to lie to someone she cared about. This was probably the first time June had ever done so. Except that one time she accidentally broke Taehyung's favorite gaming console. The boy was devasted and had been searching for the missing parts for days. She told him she had found the console smashed on the floor, and couldn't bring herself to tell the truth in fear that it would break Taehyung's heart.
However, this was different. She wasn't a little girl anymore and the lie she was holding onto was bigger than braking someone's toy. This time she had actually stolen something from Jimin. The photograph whose place was now in the back pocket of June's jeans, wasn't something valuable to society. Meaning, that it wasn't money, jewelry or something else that would fit the form of being valuable.
Though, the photograph was probably more valuable than anything materialistic mentioned before. To Jimin, the small polaroid was the most precious possession, and June hated herself for taking it away from him so easily.
If only she could've resist the strings of infatuation pulling her towards him.
First love, someone would say. But was it really love if it's unrequited?
Or so she felt, her hand rummaging through the backpack she had brought, searching for the shoes she felt most comfortable in while dancing. Once she had put on the shoes, she scrolled through her phone, her heartbeat pacing a bit faster due to the time shown on the screen; it was already eight o'clock, but Jimin still hasn't arrived.
Maybe he doesn't want to come? Maybe he changed his mind and stayed home?
Stop it June, she thought to herself, You're exaggerating a little.
Leaving her phone aside, she slowly stood up, eyes looking straight ahead of her as she was once again met with her own reflection. Sighing audibly, she imagined standing straight, heart lifted at the center of a stage. The curtains would slowly rise up, revealing hundreds of eyes staring back at her.
And, five six seven eight. She finally broke free.
But the doors swung open, the sound of someone's loud footsteps jumping against the studio's walls.
''I'm sorry I'm late.'' Said Jimin, running a hand through the mop of his dark brown hair while exhaling heavily as if he just ran a marathon. ''I hate people being late, and now I'm being an ass and doing the exact same.'' He laughed at himself, leaving the backpack aside as he made his way towards her.
''It's fine, I just got here too.''
One of June's biggest pet peeve was people being late to arranged meetings, but when it comes to Jimin, her heart didn't mind at all.
''Alright so, where do you want to start?'' He asked, crossing his arms as he waited for an answer.
The girl's cheeks were flushed again. ''I don't know honestly. I seem to always trip against my own feet, even though I'm usually not that clumsy.''
''It's because you're not dancing. You're just repeating the moves.'' He spoke, almost immediately understanding where the real problem is hiding, but June only looked at him bewildered, so he continued to speak.
''What I mean is that you're afraid. You're afraid of making mistakes so you won't let yourself go. Your moves are stiff and rigid with no emotions at all. You need to learn how to let go.''
With her eyes squinting at his words, June looked at him, desperately waiting for more guidance. Though the boy only smirked, his limbs becoming one with his body, creating movements as the ones of a flowing river; they were energetic yet insanely calming.
June's jaw dropped, her pupils widening as realization hit her; there was no way she could repeat the exact same thing he just did in front of her.
But Jimin didn't have the time to wait for her, so he reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her forward in a form of guidance. ''Yah, c'mon, just do what I did, and you should be fine.'' He assured.
She however, wasn't so convinced, though she had no choice other than obey him. After all, he's helping her out which she shouldn't take for granted.
Once he let go of her, June's hands rose up in the air with full elegance, her feet creating puddles of determination and passion, but the moment her body stopped moving and her lips started forming a short, quick breath, Jimin simply shook his head, letting out a slight tsk sound.
''You're still not letting go.'' He reminded, this time coming from behind her as he placed both of his strong hands against her hips, his breathing leaving wet traces against the skin on her neck, causing her heart to skip a beat. ''You need to loosen up. Just follow my lead.''
She swallowed, eyes wide following both of their reflection plastered against the mirror.
''Whatever it is you're holding onto, let go of it and feel the movements, feel your muscles loosen.'' He guided, hands placed against her firmly, as if letting go of her would cause an earthquake inside of him.
Both of their bodies were now moving as one. As soon as Jimin's foot would move to the left, June's would do the same. Like a scetch on a canvas, Jimin had let her paint over him.
''See? It's not that hard.'' He whispered in her ear, the melodic sound of his voice sending shivers down her spine, though she could not bring herself to speak, her lips only managing to grin like a crazy cheshire cat.
Though their dance didn't go on for too long, as the studio doors flew open, revealing a girl whose facial expression didn't look much welcoming. ''What's going on in here?''
The voice immediately broke the two dancers apart; June's eyes widened and Jimin smiled to himself for a moment, keeping his calm for all of them. ''I was teaching her some dance moves. I thought you were busy?''
''What for? Doesn't she already know how to dance?'' Boyoung remarked, completely ignoring Jimin's last sentence as she crossed her arms in despair. ''Besides, I've seen her dance, she's good and doesn't need a tutorial in my opinion.''
The girl's voice became stern, more aggressive with each word she spoke, so Jimin quickly came towards her, tucked a strand of her hair behind ear as he calmly spoke to her. ''It's for a theater play, no need to be angry, Boyoung.''
The boy grabbed Boyoung's hand softly, now the couple walking towards June who's heart felt as if it has been stabbed by a hundred daggers, threatening to break into pieces at any given moment.
''Bo, meet June.'' Jimin smiled softly, but there was a drop of sadness hidden behind it, as if he regretted the words that were about to leave his mouth. ''June meet Bo, my girlfriend.''
And that was the night June had experienced what a real heartbreak truly felt like.
. . .
a longer chapter! hope you enjoyed, even though it was a bit sad, i'm sorry. ♡ please leave a vote and comment. it means a lot and it keeps me motivated. hope you're taking care of yourselves. love, always.
