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토끼미소
Being forgetful came along with changes in the patterns and rhythms of a person's speech. There's drowsiness, the common sad feeling or emptiness and sometimes irritability, lack of appetite and lightheadedness as well. Loss of interest or pleasure, then shakiness and unsteady walking on your own two legs. Put all of that together and you'll get the side effects of medicines generically called Alprazolam and Codeine.
That's at least what one or two doctors have said to June. Or was it maybe three?
She couldn't keep count, when the words they said all sounded the same.
Ability to stay focused remained so far away, and all she did was look in the eyes of whoever there was talking to her, the sounds of the hospital she was in, were somehow blurred out, tuned down as if her ears have started to lose hearing.
Lack of sleep wasn't the reason behind it, not even all the different voices and ringing of the phones, but rather the undying fear of hearing something worse than what she already did - Jimin could've died, he was incredibly lucky to have stayed alive.
So she decided to drown her thoughts in the cheap coffee from one of the vending machines as she waited for a nurse, a doctor, a somebody to come back for her and tell her that she's allowed to see Jimin.
But no one came back.
And she stayed sitting and waiting on the uncomfortable plastic-like chairs for seconds, minutes, hours, who knew, when the coffee in her hand slowly started to turn cold.
Third coffee down the throat and it still tasted like crap.
For some reason, she wanted to get away and leave the waiting room for some fresh air, distance herself from the one being simultaneously sterile, sad, and sick most of all.
But the thought of freezing to death made her step back for a moment, her body probably wouldn't be able to bear the winter and its cold breeze.
Though a hospital has to have some kind of a living room, one where patients could still get their thoughts collected, away from the beeping machines attached to what seemed to be, for some, their only unfortunate reality.
So she stood up, threw the empty coffee cup down the bottom of a bin and walked down the hallway.
June looked through every door left ajar until she found the room she was looking for - a living room, but somewhat different from the one at home. Aside from the big windows that let the light in, it all still looked dark, shadowed and...sad, most of all.
A small TV, few chairs placed in order and tables scattered around with people dressed in gowns - that's all that it was.
One would expect for it to be cozier, but the only thing it lacked was the sterile smell, everything else still looked and felt like a hospital.
