Vincit Omnia Amor (Love Conquers All)

Chapter 7 - Oh Oh

Chapter 7 - Oh Oh

Kate Beckett's POV

When I got out of Rick's loft I felt depressed. I almost turned and walked inside again cause I couldn't really stand the thought of not being in his company and I was ashamed of it. How could one man do this to me? How was it possible that he had this effect on me? And last night, we slept together. He had been such a gentleman making sure I really wanted to do it. He hadn't pushed or anything. He was too good for me. I was too damaged. Yet he seemed very interested in me and that was a shock. No one had ever had more interest in me than just a 'one-night-stand'. Or was that only something I was telling myself? To keep my mind on my job? Maybe Lanie was right, maybe I should go out and live more, like she had told me so many times before. Lanie!

I picked up my phone and dialed her number. There were a few signals before she answered.

"Lanie, it's me, can we talk?" I asked a little shy.

"Of course, sweetie! Where do you wanna meet?" she asked.

"At home, I have something to tell you" I said and we hung up.

I got a taxi and told him my address. When I got to my apartment Lanie was already there waiting for me.

"Oh, Lanie" I said and ran into her now very quickly open arms.

I started crying. I hated when we fought. She hugged me back tightly.

"I'm sorry" I said and she hushed me.

"I'm the one who should be sorry, I shouldn't have brought up your mother, I know you don't like talking about it" Lanie whispered still trying to make me stop crying.

"I had sex with him" I said and she pulled back to look at me.

"Wh-what?" she asked with wide, surprised, shocked eyes.

I looked down before I turned to my door and put the key in. I let her through and closed the door behind me.

"You had sex with him? Did he rape you?" she asked, still in shock.

"Yes and no. I-I don't know why. It just happened" I said and started pacing back and forth in my apartment while I could feel Lanie's stare being on me all the time.

"It just happened?" I could hear she hadn't really melted the fact yet.

"Yeah, it felt right, but now I don't know what to do! I feel like I know him, I feel like he's been there for me since the beginning, I want to be near him all the time. I can't stop thinking about him! Lanie, what should I do?! I don't even know what this is!" I talked really fast but I knew by the look Lanie gave me that she had heard every single word.

"Kate" Lanie said with a smile on her lips.

"What?" I asked and stopped pacing to look at her.

"You're in love, that's what happened" Lanie said and I looked at her shocked.

I shook my head violently.

"No, that's not possible. No." I mumbled.

"Don't deny it, you like this guy! Why aren't you over there by the way?" Lanie asked and I met her eyes.

"I told him I needed to go home. But I did promise I would go back" the last thing I only breathed.

Lanie laughed. She was probably enjoying herself a little too much.

"I need to look into the mission. I need to keep my head in the game" I mumbled and went towards my iPad.

Lanie sighed and I logged into the mission information. Richard Castle, well, since he was a famous writer there must be at least a hundred of pics of him. I searched on google and the face that stared back to me made my body shake violently.

"No, no, nonononono" I said in a low voice and backed until I sat down in the couch.

Lanie came to me? Curious what had made me react the way I had.

"That's Richard Castle?!" Lanie exclaimed in shock.

The face on the screen was the same face I had seen in real life just one hour ago. I couldn't believe I hadn't seen that one coming. I mean of course it had to be the person I just kind of got the feeling I liked.

"How's this even possible?" I blurted out with a obvious hurt voice.

"Honey, you can't kill him now" Lanie said and I could hear she really tried not to sound happy about it.

"But, I have to... my job depends on it, besides, if I don't do it they'll find someone who will" I said and I felt my eyes tearing up.

"Oh, sweetie" Lanie said and she put her arms around me.

I put down the iPad and let Lanie embrace me. I cried against her shoulder. I knew it was too good to be true. But why would it click with someone I was ordered to kill? What kind of games did life play with me? This was so unfair!

"Kate, I think you should go talk to him, tell him about this and that he has to run, better yet, run away with you" Lanie said in a romantic way.

"Doesn't matter, then we'll both end up dead. Him for... I don't know... and me because I betrayed the agency" I sobbed.

I pulled out if Lanie's arms and sat down on the floor with my head in my hands. What am I going to do? Too many thoughts were circling around my head, I didn't want to kill him. I most definitely didn't but I was bound to follow orders. I couldn't just ignore an assignment, that would get hard consequenses. I heard Lanie sit down beside me and she stroke my arm, trying to comfort me. I looked up at her.

"You really think I should tell him?" I asked with tears running down my cheeks.

She nodded before she talked.

"Yes, like you said, they won't leave him alone just because you won't kill him and I think you two should go away together until it's clear" I nodded in agreement.

Or maybe, just maybe, I should just kill him. I did promise myself that no guy in the entire world would stop me from having my job. But as soon as the thought was there I crashed it down again.

"Did you know?" I asked my sudden question out loud.

"What?" my question took her by surprise.

"Did you know he was Richard Castle?" I asked suspicious.

I looked into her eyes to see if she was going to lie.

"No" she exclaimed and I could see that she was truthful.

I sighed.

"I can come with you if you like?" Lanie said and I looked around my apartment.

I tried to think, I made my decision.

"Probably better if I go alone" I said before I got up and packed my gun and my phone.

A/N:

Here you go, please let me know what you think! I would love to hear your thoughts on this fanfic!