Vincit Omnia Amor (Love Conquers All)

Chapter 44 - Darkness Turning Into Light

Chapter 44 - Darkness Turning Into Light

Kate Beckett's POV

The bullet sunk into my chest and I landed on the floor. The pain was impossible to ignore, yet I couldn't scream. It was the worst feeling I had ever had. I looked around and found the one face I wanted to see. The face of the person I had saved. The face that had made me feel loved again. The face I had come to love so deeply that I didn't even know what to do with myself. I could see his lips moving but I couldn't make out a sound of what he was saying to me. I was starting to see black dots all around and I looked at them, desperately trying to make them disappear. I didn't want them to cover Rick's face. But it was too late, and I was too weak to fight against them. The darkness took over and I didn't feel anything. I couldn't feel my own body. I couldn't feel the pain I knew I should be feeling if I was still alive. I was dead and there was nothing I could do. I didn't want to feel the pain again. I never wanted to go back to feeling the pain I knew I was going to feel once I returned, if I returned. Maybe it would be easier if I didn't fight, what if I didn't fight the darkness? What would happen then? Who would really miss me? Rick were better off without me, and my dad? He would only be disappointed to find out I ended up the same fate my mom did. Lanie and Jenny would be pissed, for sure. But they would get over it, they had Javi and Kevin now. So why should I fight? Back there I was just hurting, ever since the death of my mom I had been like a walking dead. And the few last days I had would be the best ones in my life, that was something Lanie would be able to tell Rick to give him comfort. That at least he made me feel alive again. I wanted to go back to him but I wasn't sure if I could. The darkness became even darker and I looked around, nothing seemed bright anywhere. Why keep fighting when I could stay here and not feel a thing. Not feel the sting from the bullet. Not feel the pain that had been in me since the day my mom passed. Not feel the disappointment from my dad. Not feel the hate I might get from Alexis. Not feel the guilt I felt sometimes looking at Rick. The guilt that told me that I would've killed him unless I had fallen into him at that club. And if I stayed I wouldn't feel the guilt from killing all the people the agency had told me to kill.

"Kate" a voice appeared and I tried to open my eyes.

I managed to open them and looked around, the place was dark. Suddenly the voice were there again, saying my name over and over. I looked around, trying to figure out where to person behind the voice where. But I couldn't see anyone. At first the voice were just that, a voice. But the longer it kept saying my name it changed into a more familiar, woman's voice. All of a sudden the voice changed my name, it didn't say 'Kate' anymore, but 'Kaite'.

"Mom?" I whispered, my voice raspy and I looked around.

To my surprise there was a light in front of me and someone came walking from the light. I held a hand in front of my face to try protect my eyes from the bright light. I got used to the light and looked at the figure in front of me.

"Mom!?" I yelled and ran towards the woman in front of me.

I bumped into her open arms and she hugged me tight while I cried into her chest. She stroke my back and hushed me, just like she had done when she was alive. When she was alive?

"Am I dead?" I asked and looked up at my mom's face.

My mom laughed and shook her head.

"Not yet, silly. Now, tell me how you got in this mess" she said and pointed to a red couch that appeared in front of us.

We sat down and I wouldn't let go of her hands, I didn't want her to disappear again. She wiped away my tears and kissed my forehead.

"What happened?" she asked and I looked down at our hands.