Baby Blues

24. Misunderstandings

"You said what!" Hannah exclaimed "Come on babe, tell me you're not serious"

It was in the early morning and we had just woken up. I told Hannah about what happened last night between Kevin and I... in short she wasn't too pleased with me

"What did you want me to say?"

"Do you not feel the same way?"

"I do but I just couldn't say it back"

I threw my head back on the bed and hit my sleeping cousin in the process

"Hey watch it" she exclaimed

I quickly sat up and whispered "sorry"

"It's fine and not to be nosy but I'm on Hannah's side on the issue"

"You have got to be kidding me"

"Nope, he put himself out there and you rejected him"

"I did not reject him"

Hannah took a seat on the bed opposite "He might just feel like you did"

"He understands so it's no big deal"

Suddenly Sandra sat up on the bed and moved closer "I'm sorry for butting in but I agree with Hannah and Taya"

"Oh come on, have you considered the fact that I might not have been ready to say it back"

"Yes we have" Hannah responded "but you should have talked to him and told him how you felt about the whole situation not hang up and tell him that you would talk to him the next day. He might have not expected you to say it back but he most likely expected a little more"

She had a point and I already felt guilty about it but these guys were making it worse

"Hannah—"

Sandra put her hand up stopping me "No seriously look at this from his point of view. He must have had this on his mind for some time trying to find the best way of telling you. When he finally get's the courage to get it off his chest which must have taken a lot he tells you he loves you and you close yourself off. What if he was afraid of how you would react or what you would say? What if that very reaction is what he was afraid of?"

"What if I'm afraid of saying it back because it will become all so real? What happens when he falls out of love with me and I'm still hooked? What happens then? I guess I'm just afraid that I might put myself out there... make myself vulnerable to him and that he might just find someone else to love... someone better than me"

“But isn’t love about taking chances” Hannah sighed giving me a sympathetic smile “I mean if you live your life restricting yourself because you’re too scared of getting hurt or letting someone in then do you really think you’re ever truly going to experience love”

“I guess you guys are right. I’ll talk to him today”

The sound of someone whistling behind me had everyone turning. Taya was looking at us and shaking her head “You guys made me feel like I was in some soap opera and Sandra when did you grow up giving advice and talking about love like that”

“I just ummm... watch a lot of romantic movies” she laughed uneasily

By the time we left my grandparents house for home I was determined to call Kevin. I had forgotten to charge my phone the previous night so it was off by the time we woke up. It was too late to charge it when I realised so I decided to do it from home. Everyone in the car was chatting and laughing and I tried to contribute but my mind wasn't as ease. I just wanted to get home and talk to him.