Thoughts. (BTS Sope)

036.

      "Hoseok?"

      "Yeah?"

      "How were your last relationships?"

      "Well, as I told you I've never really had one."

     "Yeah.. but what did you have instead then?"

     "I don't know what to call them."

     "Why?"

     "Well, we... you know... but they soon left and it was like nothing ever happened."

     "Oh."

    "I never really believed in love. Besides my family I didn't truly love anyone else. Until you came into my life."

He held my hand and smiled. He made me feel special, something I hadn't felt in a long time.
We talked for a while about almost everything. He told me about his parents and his sister, about all of his adventures as a child.

     "Even though, growing up, we didn't have much money they were the best years of my life."

I envied him for being so happy.

     "How are your parents?"

I really didn't want to tell him about all of the struggles I had got through.

    "Well, um.."

He was looking at me waiting for an answer.

    "They are fine."

    "Oh."

I looked down at the table.

    "It's okay if you don't want to tell me."

I didn't know how my parents were. I hadn't talked to them in years. I know nothing about them and they know nothing about me. They don't know I'm gay, that I'm studying music, or that I live with Namjoon. They know nothing.

Hoseok got up and picked up the dishes.

     "So.. When are you leaving?"

I looked up at him confused by the question.
What kind of a fucking question was that? He didn't even say it nicely. It was so dry and without feeling.

      "Cause I have stuff to do."

Well fuck you too.