unspoken - phan

friends.

The next day started as usual with a massive headache and dizziness.
Phil asked if I'd like to come over to his the evening before, but I denied. I told him that I would text him if something happened, but I didn't when my parents began to fight. I didn't when I started to drink and I didn't when tears of loneliness dropped on my skin.
So I woke up as usual and almost passed out when I headed to the bathroom to take a shower. I almost fell downstairs and almost grabbed the yoghurt in the fridge. I just didn't want to see Phil while feeling so awful, but I had no other option than putting a fake smile on my face when I saw him at lunch.

"Hey Dan, how was your day yet?",he asked and walked next to me, while I stared at our feet. I held up my thumb, just to earn a questioning look. "Wow really convincing",Phil laughed. "Oh I have to introduce you to Chris and Pj."
I swallowed heavily. Pj was the guy that caused my panic attack, he probably thought of me as a weirdo. I mean I was weird but I didn't want anyone to know.

I was slightly confused when we walked to a table where both guys sat.
Who's eating lunch in the library?
"So Pj, Chris, this is Dan." They looked up almost synchronized. "Yeah, hi Dan, we met in sports right?",Pj said sheepishly. I nodded with the same embarrassed look. So he didn't forget it.
"Sorry 'bout that." I shrugged to show him that it was no big deal, even if it was. It wasn't even his fault that I was an anxious wimp. "Uhh what did I miss? And hi dan",Chris grinned excitedly.  We sat down. "I caused his anxiety attack in sports",pj explained.
I looked at phil and mouthed  "not really", just to feel stupid afterwards. "Dan said not really."
I bit my lip. That must've looked so stupid. Chris looked at me in confusion and I couldn't believe that they hadn't told him yet.
"Oh and he's mute."
Thanks for adding.
"What?"
"He can't speak dumbass",pj slapped chris on the back of his head.
"Ow, sorry that I couldn't understand phils mumble."
I just sat there and watched them laugh. I didn't know what to think. On the one hand those people seemed like great friends but on the other they were already a group of friends. They didn't need me.

"How do you even communicate?",chris asked and I just glanced at phil.
"Shall I?",he raised an eyebrow and I nodded in return.
"Alright. So short words he usually mouths, but you really have to concentrate on his lips",he flashed a foolish smile. "Otherwise you won't understand a thing. Most of the time he writes the sentences in a notebook and shows it to you, but yesterday we texted which made everything a lot easier."
"We should make a whatsapp group or something, that would be like a real conversation",pj added and phil nodded.
"I'll create one."

Chris: "I feel like one of those 14yo who resist on texting instead of talking while sitting in front of each other"
Pj:"you literally texted me during biology and you sat right next to me"
Chris:"talking isn't allowed though"
Phil:"Chris you ARE a 14 year old girl"
Chris:"well whatever the point of this group is to talk with dan. Talk Dannyboi"
Pj:"Ew that's an awful nickname"
Dan:"i agree"
Phil:"We don't even have nicknames :("
Chris:"okay sunshine"
Pj:"what about meee?"
Chris:"do you really want to hear? Children are listening ;)"
Phil:"Noooooooooooooooo"
Pj:"save it for tonight"
Chris:"saved"
Phil:"How can you not say anything to that Dan?"
Dan:"still traumatized from the winky face"

The school bell rang and interrupted our more or less kind of a conversation, which was actually quite amusing. I even found myself smiling a little bit, those people are weird. Maybe in another way and not as much as I am, but better than anything else running around in this school.

"What do you guys have next?",Pj asked.
"English"
"Same sunnyboi",Chris sighed.
"Geography",I mouthed to Pj.
"Oh thats a tough one. Biology?"
I shook my head and pointed at my lips.
"GE-O-GRA-PHY."
"Ah, yeah geography, same."
I turned towards Phil and mouthed "See you".
"Yeah I'll text you if we don't see each other after school."
I nodded.
"Wait a sec Dan, since you're the new boy, you have to come to the party at Jakes today",Chris said. "And you can't say no."