Mafia's Madam

Thirty-one

I would love to say that I hadn't spent all day and night crying like the pathetic human that I am, but I certainly did.

You know, sometimes you feel so mature, and like you know everything and like nobody could ever hurt you because you have already felt it all but then one day everything comes crushing down and you realize that you might not be made out of stone in the end.

Alright, maybe I am being little over-dramatic. But how could I not be?

Would you have ever expected me to lay here crying and hoping for the man who hurt you to come back begging for your forgiveness? Unfortunately that's exactly what I spent my time doing.

However, I know that man and I know that he is not one to apologize and especially beg.

But I could still dream, right?

A few hours ago I had to leave my room to attend to the girls, and considering I cried all night my swollen and red face was pretty noticeable. Everyone and their mother asked what was wrong with me.

I did try to play it off cool but din't think it really worked considering everybody gave me a doubtful look, they didn't ask any further though, that's how it is here in the mafia, and Iove it.

I sat up in my bed with a tear stained face looking around the dimly lit room, deciding to stop feeling sorry for myself.

He called me a slut. He was right. He won't come around and I should deal with it instead sulking here alone and drowning in my own tears.

Also I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a migraine for a week now.

I start rubbing my temples in a circular motion, in hopes of easing the pain.

Just when I started to feel the first spurs of relief a knock on my door made me jump as it startled me.

I stilled. It wasn't Agostino right? He didn't care to come for the past 24 hours so why would he now?

I still didn't move, hoping the person at the door would take the hint and just leave.

"Diana open" I almost fell off the bed at the voice behind the door.

He's here. Well now I'm for sure not opening.

"I know you can hear me, please open."There was a pause "I'm sorry."

I gulped, trying to hold myself together. I can't believe he is here, and he apologized.

I'm still not opening though, it's not like there's something he can say to make me forgive him.

It's certainly not the worst thing anyone has ever said to me however coming from him it felt like a stab to the heart.

"Fine, you don't have to open." He sighed.

I then heard something slide down the door.

"Just listen to me okey?" He said, his voice now coming much lower,which could mean that he is now sitting on the floor.

I smiled to myself at that a little.

"I have never had women in my life. My mother died when I was little. I do remember her however,she was the most beautiful loving woman ever, she was an angel. I remember seeing my dad hit her and scream at her then walk out and not come back for several days, while I watched my mother cry even though she always tried to hide her tears away from me."

I felt Agostino pour his heart out, even though I couldn't see him, I could feel his emotions.

I slid down from my bed and sat on the carpeted floor, leaning against the bed with my back, to be on the same level as him.