Just one night with you

The L-word

I was sat at my dressing table getting ready for the dinner rehersal. The wedding was in 3 days. Just 3. The phone call I had with German was still stuck in my head, we haven't seen each other, or even spoken to each other since that phone call, Beatriz made sure of that.

I applied some lipstick and put on my perfume, grabbed my coat and was ready to go. I didn't want to, but as the maid of honour, I can't just not turn up.

I arrived just on time, which isn't like me. I'm usually late, especially for things I don't even want to attend. The waiter took my coat and guided me to the table. As I am classed as family, I am on the table with Violetta, German and Beatriz.

"So," said Violetta, "how was your day?" Violetta was clearly trying to get me involved in the conversation, because so far, I've done nothing but stare at the walls behind Beatriz and German. If I wasn't pregnant, I would drink until I forgot his name. But I can't do that.

"It was alright. I felt awful this morning, throwing up. It's the worst I've been." I said without thinking.

German and Violetta shot me a look, while Beatriz just looked at me knowingly.

"I mean, I had food posioning, must have been that Chinese takeaway," I said with a nervous laugh.

Beatriz just raised her eyebrow at me, I knew she didn't believe a word I was saying. She knew.

"Excuse me," I say as I pull my chair out, "I'm going to get myself a drink." Any excuse to leave, I thought, as I sat on the stool at the bar.

I ordered an orange juice and sat with it at the bar for a second.

"What the hell was that?" Hissed German, standing behind me.

"I don't know," I snapped back.

"She knows you're pregnant, she keeps asking me who the dad is, what am I supposed to do?"

"You know what?" I sighed, as I picked up my clutch purse, "you need to work it out with Beatriz, not me."

I got off the stool and headed for the back exit, which lead straight onto a road. I got to the mini porch and I could here German shouting my name.

"Angie, Angie! I don't know what to do!" I heard him shouting, as he joined me in the porch.

"Oh forget what you're supposed to do, do what you want to do! For once in your life, don't play by the rules! I don't care about what you do anymore, just decide!" I shouted as I ran off down the road.

I didn't get far down the road, when I started to have flash backs. I remembered the first time we kissed and the sparks that flew between us. I remember losing him to Jade, and Esmeralda and Beatriz. But I remembered, losing him to Beatriz was still optional. I kept my mouth shut when he was with Jade and Esmeralda, and I realised that unless I wanted the same thing to happen again, I need to speak up.

I spun back around and started running towards the pub. "German! German!" I shouted as I reached the porch.

"What? What is it?" He said, standing there waiting for me to speak.

"You're not the only one who didn't know what do to, I didn't either, but I do now!"

"Angie..."

"No, let me finish." I say, cutting him off.

"All this time I thought the best thing was for you to marry Beatriz, so I did nothing. But I'm fed up of not doing anything for myself. I'm fed up of letting you slip away from my touch over and over again. I haven't been living my life properly for along time, but I want to. And I want to live it with you and our baby!"

I didn't know where all this was coming from, in fact, I even shocked myself.

"Cancel the wedding German. Tell her you can't marry her. I love you, I've always loved you. I know I should have told you a long time ago, but I'm telling you now, before it's too late, before I really miss my chance." I exclaimed, fighting back the tears as heard as I could.

I couldn't believe the words were finally coming out of my mouth. I was just fed up of hiding how I felt, and for what? So German could be happy with Beatriz, the woman who didn't actually love him, not like I do.

German just stared at me for a minute, his face looked like he'd just eaten something sour.

The smile on my face started to fade, because I knew what was coming wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"I can't Angie... I'm sorry, I just... I can't..." He said looking down at his shoes.

Coward. He couldn't even look at me. I hated him in that moment. I hated him, I hated him. I hated everything.

I let out a stupid laugh as I nodded as if to say 'I understand'.

Without looking at him, I started to run. I ran and I didn't look back. From now one I wasn't looking back on German. I was looking forward to my life with my baby... In France.