Just one night with you

Forgive me

"German, just leave. I have only just got back and I'm tired and I need to phone a friend." I said as I opened my door slightly.

I stepped inside the house and he put his foot in the way, so I couldn't shut the door.

"German, please!" I cried with frustration.

"I didn't marry her." He whispered.

The shock of what he said made me let go of the door, so he managed to get in.

"Why? Why didn't you marry her? Did she tell you that she cheated on you?" I asked. I don't know why I asked this, I guess I wanted to to hurt him.

But it didn't work.

"No, and I don't care if she did." He replied. He walked closer to me.

"I don't care because I don't love her." He replied. "I love you." He tired to touch my cheek but I moved his hand away.

"No you don't." I stated.

"You're just saying that because you don't want to be alone." I added.

"No. No I'm not." He walked even closer to me, his face just centimetres away from mine.

"I'm telling you that I love you because that one night with you changed my life. I thought that I was over you, but I wasn't. I should have told you how I felt then, but I didn't think you felt the same."

I wasn't believing a word he was saying.

"Well if you loved me, why'd you turn me away when I told you how I felt?" I asked. I was furious, he was just messing with my brain.

"Angie, I thought that letting you go was for the best, because all I ever seem to do is hurt you." He replied.

"I can't do this German, I'm not going to just let you mess with my feelings. I'm leaving. I'm going back to France."

I shocked myself with this sentence, I had thought about going back to France, yes. But I wasn't exactly decided on it yet.

"Angie, please, you can't just run away from us." Pleaded German with a look of desperation on his face.

"There is so no us, German." I reminded him.

"No, but there could be an us. In fact, I'll go all the way to France to prove to you that there could be an us if you just forgive me."

"German, you don't get it. I've wanted 'us' to be a thing for years now. I sat around and waited for you to leave Beatriz, I waited for you to choose me. But you chose Beatriz." I shouted, throwing my hands around in the air.

"Angie, I admit that I chose Beatriz, but I realise how wrong I was. I thought I was over you until that night." German said calmly, how he could stay calm when I'm screaming at him I'll never know.

"German, I'm scared ok!" I cried.

"I'm scared that you're going to do what you did to Beatriz to me. I'm scared that you're going to leave me when something better than me comes along." I cried.

"Angie, you are the best thing in my life. You don't need to be scared, that will never happen. I love you."

He sounded like he had a lump on his throat, like he was holding back his tears.

"I will never hurt you."'he whispered.

I looked in his eyes, I could see he was sorry. But I still had things I wanted to say.

"Don't you see? When you let me leave when I said I loved you, that was the most you've ever hurt me." I shouted.

"So don't you dare say you'll never hurt me when you already did!" I added.

He can't just tell me he will never hurt me when he already has!

"I'm so sorry, Angie. I panicked. I thought letting you go was for the best, but it isn't. I realise that know. That's why I canceled the wedding. That's why I waited for you to get back. That's why I'm here, asking for you to forgive me." He whispered as he walked away from me. He sat in the sofa twiddling him thumbs and tapping his foot.

I didn't know what to say, so I didn't. It was silent for about a minute, until I finally thought of something to say.

"Was she mad?" I asked, changing the subject. "When you canceled the wedding, was she mad?"

German looked up at me, I think he was shocked that I'd spoken so calmly to him after I'd just screamed at him. But those few silent minutes had given me time to think about what he was saying and I started to understand a bit more.

"Yes, she threw a few things. She asked me if there was anyone else." He replied staring directly into my eyes.

"And what did you say? Did you tell her there was someone else?" I asked, looking into his eyes.

"I said no. Because I don't know if there is anyone else yet." He stood up and walked over to me, putting his hand on my cheek and this time I didn't stop him.

"Is there anyone else? Will you be my someone else?" He whispered softly.