Until It's Gone

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

Chester’s POV

          He spent every day of his pitiful life looking for someone to care about him. He’d always had a tiny crush on Mike ever since he’d seen him. He always thought he was cute. That was the reason he wasn’t able to talk to Mike the first time Mike talked to him. He’d always held out hope for Mike. That’s why he’d written that letter to him to write his music for him if he ever killed himself. When Mike had confessed that he loved him too, he was so happy. His dream had come true.

          When his father had kidnapped him he’d gone into a depression again. He would lie awake at night just thinking about Mike. He had conversations with himself about what Mike was doing. Sometimes he’d roll over and expect to see Mike there with him but he never was. He’d started to cut again to try and focus on something other than Mike. Mike didn’t know he did it. Even now, he didn’t know.

          He never had enough money to move out on his own until he stole enough from his dad to buy his own apartment. That was when he was twenty-two. He’d lived with his abusive father for four more years after he’d been taken from Mike. He couldn’t even believe he had made it through those four years. He’d gone through some of the worst beatings of his life. He knew that Mike didn’t know about his issues though. He had a feeling that the other man had guessed things due to his nightmares and what he talked about. What made him jump. But Mike hadn’t said anything to him yet. He was glad. He didn’t want to talk about what had happened to him during those years. He’d felt weaker than he’d ever felt. No matter how old he got, he would always fear his father.

          The cutting had made things go away. He had promised Mike he wouldn’t cut anymore. Mike had said that he would never need to do it again as long as he was with him. But Mike hadn’t been with him during those times. He wanted something to take his mind off the pain he was feeling both physically and mentally. He needed a distraction. He hadn’t gone to drugs. He’d never do that again. But cutting his wrists didn’t cost anything. And he could get his distraction.

          He still cut. Mike didn’t know it, but he did. When the memories got to be too much, he’d go and lock himself in the bathroom. He knew if Mike found out that he was cutting again, he’d hate him. The thought of that made Chester want to get up and do it. Just get away from reality because in his opinion, reality sucked a lot. Everything went wrong. If he was somewhere else, maybe things would be better.

          He shifted next to Mike. He knew that Mike was waiting to hear their music on the radio. He knew that everyone was. He felt Mike move next to him and Chester guessed that he was leaning closer to the radio. He heard a soft sigh and then Mike moved back to his position. The hand that Mike had in his hair moved down to his chest. Chester smiled slightly and turned so his face was resting on the side of Mike’s chest. Mike moved again and Chester heard the radio shut off and Mike moved down so his head rested fully on Mike’s chest. This was where he felt safe. Mike made him feel safe.

          He huddled in the corner of his room. His dad was angry about something. He’d locked the door and hid in the corner. He didn’t want to get hurt anymore. He already felt like dying. His razor was close by but he decided to see how much blood he had left after his dad beat him senseless. That was the new thing. It wasn’t rape or a few punches. It was a total beat down. His dad would hurt him until he could barely breathe or couldn’t see. His ribs had healed over about three to four times.

 

          “Come out of there Chester!”