Until It's Gone

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Mike’s POV

          He lay awake long after Chester had fallen asleep. For some reason, when Chester had made that comment about knowing all his secrets, it had bothered him. Did Chester really know everything that Mike kept hidden from him? He hoped not. Mike wanted to keep some things from Chester. Some things just weren’t meant to be told. Some things that he’d done just weren’t meant for Chester to know.

          “God…..Chazzy,” he muttered as he looked down at the small sleeping man next to him. He would always think about the secrets he kept deep down. Chester had vanished and Mike had believed it to be his fault. When his dad had told him that Chester was dead, he’d broken.

          “NO! He can’t be dead!” Mike cried as he stood staring at himself in the mirror. Chester couldn’t be dead. Not him. Anyone but him. He loved that boy too much. He stared into the mirror as he pictured Chester’s unmoving body. As he saw Chester lying dead on the ground covered in blood or broken. He heard his dad coming up the steps as he stood there. He was coming to get him. Mike took a deep breath and reached to the side of the sink. His hand wrapped around the cool handle and he took a deep breath.

 

          “I love you Chester,” he whispered before stabbing the knife into his chest. His dad had opened the door as he’d fallen to the floor.

 

          “Mike!”

 

          But it wasn’t his dad’s voice. He heard Chester’s voice crying for him as he let his eyes close.

 

          “If you love me……you’ll let me die,” Mike whispered.

 

          Somehow they’d saved him. He was still alive today and it was a good thing he was. But back then, he’d hated everyone. He’d hated them all for saving him. Now he couldn’t help but be a little bit thankful to them that they had. He needed to be with Chester. The man that still didn’t know. He had never told Chester that he had tried to kill himself to finally get rid of the grief he was going through. He smiled down at Chester who was sleeping in his arms. Mike was lying slightly twisted underneath Chester. The lower part of his body was covered by Chester’s legs and waist. But he was able to hold Chester’s upper body next to him. So it looked uncomfortable but it actually wasn’t. Chester was warm and he wasn’t that heavy so Mike was quite cozy. His face was pressed into Chester’s soft spiky hair. Just being here with him made him happy.

          Chester didn’t wake up once the entire night. Mike had fallen asleep next to him but he had never felt Chester shift or make any noise next to him. It was a rare occasion but the other man had made it through the night without a nightmare. He smiled slightly at Chester as the sun peeked in through the window. He looked so peaceful. He slowly climbed out from underneath Chester and went to take a shower. When he got out of the shower, he heard someone playing the guitar. Chester was singing quietly.

          “When you’ve suffered enough, and your spirit is breaking,

          You’re growing desperate from the fight,