You Saved Me ( Zayn Malik )

Chapter 12.

*Skylar's POV*

 Actually, that was a pretty good question. Was I even going to tell him? Yes, of course I was. "I don't know... I mean it's not like I could just be like, ' Hey! Zayn! Look I have scars from cutting!' What was I supposed to say? I was waiting for the right time." I said whilst sitting up. I knew sarcasm wasn't the best approach at this but, I didn't know what else to say.  

   "Well, now's as good a time as any." he said whilst moving so he was sitting directly in front of me. "Well," I started, "You obviously know so what is there to say?" I looked straight into his light brown eyes. Even in the almost complete darkness I could read them. He was still confused but he looked on the verge of crying. Why? I thought. "Well how about you tell me WHY you cut..?" he said looking back into my eyes. I saw the tears brimming his eyelid. Daring to spill out. I knew he could see my emotions too. I looked down. I didn't want him to see the hurt. He's seen it enough. 

"You know why." I said, barely above a whisper.

"You mean because of your mum? Is that when it started? 3 years ago? When did it end?"

  "No, it started TWO years ago. A year after Evan left. On the day of my fourteenth birthday, actually. February 15th 2010. That was the first day my mum came home drunk. The first day she ever said it was my fault. The first day I ever brought the blade to my wrist. I don't like talking about it. I honestly think she did it since it was the day after Valentine's day. Therefore the day after their anniversary. I thought it was going to be the only time. I didn't think she would ever do it again. Of course though, I was wrong." I said, biting back the tears. I could taste the metallic taste of blood, a sign that I bit my lip too hard. 

  "Well, when did it stop?" his voice cracked. I could tell he was trying to be strong for me, fighting the urge to cry in front of me. I loved the fact he cared so much. But I didn't want this to hurt him. I looked back up at him. Letting a single tear fall. Sadly, that one sent a chain reaction and the tears started flowing.  I didn't. I thought. I didn't want to say it. Not out loud. Never, would I say it out loud.

  His mouth fell into the shape of an 'o' and his eyes went wide. Then went his first tear. Then another. Then another. "You- You still.." he said, trailing off. I didn't want him to be hurt. I couldn't handle it, to see him crying, it was too much. He tried his best to wipe them away quickly but, I knew they weren't going to stop. I stood up and threw on my shoes. I needed a walk.

Raining. Or. Not.

  "I need to take a walk." I said. "WAIT!" Zayn shouted, running from his room. I turned around and raised an eyebrow at him. Tears were still streaming down my face, and his too. "You- where are you going? You can't just leave, Sky. It's what? 3:30 am? Yeah, no." I rolled my eyes and said, "Why? I won't go far. I go out at night constantly, Zayn. I will be fine. I can't stand to see you cry. Especially when I Can't help. Especially when it's my fault." I said shaking my head. "You think it's better for me, Skylar?" he said, "I.... You have no idea how much it hurts me to see you crying in your sleep. All I want to do is hold you and make you feel better. But you don't let me. So, I decide not to force it. You have NO idea how much it hurts ME when you're in pain. Then, to see you in MORE pain? Pain that YOU caused? That's the worst. You, you just..... You don't understand how much it affects me, Skylar. So if you're going to go, then at least put on a jacket. And, PLEASE, come back." He said "Please." he croaked out.

Then he cried harder.

Shit. 

  "Yeah? Well, why Zayn? Why do you care? When did I meet you? Like, a week and a half ago. I-" I started to say. But Zayn cut me off. I'm glad he did. I don't know where I was going but I'm sure I was about to say something I didn't mean. "I don't know!" he said, "I just do. All I know is it hurts me." I looked him straight in the eye. I didn't want to leave him but, I still couldn't stand to be around him. Not when I was crying. So, I ran up, and hugged him. His body felt warm and, inviting. I put my head on his shoulder and whispered, "I'll be back soon. Don't worry." I could feel his tears on my head.